PrP: Heart of Farceness
Title: Heart of Farceness
Emitter: Kade
Characters: Vennan, Faiza, Angrid, Eligar, Munch
NPCs: 8 Bite Solutions (Marius, Belmort, Lynx, Kang, Mak)
Place: Remote Island in the Southern Ocean
Time: July 26th, 2013
Summary: The party is hired by Southern Ventures Trading Company to look into an acquired holding from an old Charnese expedition...
APL: 5
Encounter 1: 8 Bite Crew (4 3rd Level NPCs) - CR 6
Encounter 2: Marius and Kang (Barbarian 1/Ranger 6 & Animal Companion) - CR 6
Like many adventures, this one started with a notice on the bulletin board at the Explorer's Guild. "Individuals needed to investigation missing colony in the Southern Ocean, teleportation provided for expediency. Short contract, good pay. Inquire with the Southern Ventures Trading Company at (Address)." Missing colonies, good pay, travel to exotic location. What more could an adventurer ask for?
In any case, answering the bulletin, you find yourselves in a privately rented out dining hall, sitting across from a trio of well-to-do looking bean counters with an array of ledgers, papers, inkwells, and quills. But apparently well funded bean counters, as you get a nice spread of roasted meats, cheeses, and breads with a few pitchers of table wine. The three smiling human bookkeepers invite each of you to sit and once you've all assembled, confer amongst themselves before speaking up. Left starts, "Very good, shall we get right to business? I'm sure you are all eager to get to work." Right adds, "We would like to like express that we expect consummate professionalism and discretion in this matter, however." Middle seems caught up in the paper work, recording the names of each of you as you arrive and make introductions.
Eligar comes in after tethering his horse to the post outside. He moves over to have a seat and he hmms softly, 'Depends on what it is. If this is criminal or against my code of honor I will inform the proper authorities."
Vennan is, as ever, punctual and attentive. He takes neither wine nor a seat, standing with his hands clasped behind his back as he looks over the three prospective employers. He nods his head in agreement with Eligar. "As will I. Of course, the Explorer's Guild generally does a good job of weeding out blatantly unethical contracts, so I take it you haven't come here to request anything of the sort. We can be discreet." Pause. "Well. I can be discreet. I can't speak for anyone else."
It's always something. What is it with humans and bad planning? It's not endemic to them, you find some that understand the need for a good foundation, but it seems like they always want to mine first, shore the tunnel later. Angrid just heaves a great sigh from his chair, puffing on his pipe as he regards the others and the beancounters. "Why be there a need for discretion?" he asks pointedly.
"'Break things, hurt people', this is my skill set." Munch offers unhelpfully, claiming a pitcher of wine and takeing a long swig. No need to dirty a glass.
Faiza doesn't really need to express her reservations about illegalities or immoralities; she's a paladin, these things can remain unsaid. That said, she seems quite curious about the mission. "How does a colony go 'missing'?" Right down to business. "And have any other expeditions been sent beforehand?" She's seated at the table, but doesn't touch the food.
Left counters, "We have no intention of any criminal actions for you to perform."
Right clears his throat before adding, "Though this particular mission is well beyond the scope of any of the Alexandrian authorities, so feel free to exercise your own moral compass as the situation requires."
Middle looks up from his papers, peering at Munch over his glasses, nose wrinkled, "So long as our interests are seen to." And with that, he takes out a large map of the known world tacked to a board and slides it over. Marked with a bright red pin is a speck several hundred miles off the coast off the western most of the Charnese Island colonies.
"Not so much a colony," Left explains, "As a business venture, purchased from foreign interests that needed to liquidate assets."
Right takes a sip of water from his glass and leafs through a few pages, "One of the lesser Charnese houses experiencing financial distress from the recent civil...upheavals. In any case, the details are this. Three years ago, this house funded an expedition around the Charnese colonies. Two years ago, their expeditionary wizard teleported back from a heretofore uncharted island with sacks full of pearls, jade, gold, and ivory. After departing, no word was heard from the wizard or the business venture."
Middle interlaces his fingers and sets them on top of his ledger, "We would like you to investigate what happened and resume production, if at all possible."
"... Charnese. Ah. The reason for the discretion becomes apparent." Vennan says in a dry tone, eyes scanning over the faces of the three bean counters. He then moves to study the map. "... Very well. Any information you can give us about this 'venture' will no doubt make our job easier."
Angrid raises his bushy eyebrows. "Sacks o'gold and ivory, eh?" He glances at the others. "Probably eaten by a dragon, but ah well." He looks at the map as well, teeth flashing as he grins at the prospects.
Munch eyes the map a few moments, and finishes off the pitcher. "Observed flora, fauna, any structures built or native, anything and everything, really. But other then that, -I'm- ready to go." Implying others might need a moment.
Faiza stiffens at the mention of Charn; her own Charnese accent is quite distinct. This, then, may be the reason why the Mul'niessa paladin has shown interest in the adventure at all. "So it's been -years- since you last heard from them? Well, then." She leans back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest, looking thoughtful. "It looks like we'd better be prepared for anything."
Eligar frowns deeply, "Charnese? Why would you want anything to do with Charn? They are cursed by the gods." He nods in agreement, "Yes we had better be ready for anything."
Left slides over a rather burnt and waterlogged looking ledger, "Unfortunately, the civil unrest in Charn led to the destruction of most of the documents. Conrad, was his name. But his notes, damaged as they were, spoke of two indigenous peoples, one of them some sort of reptilian race, and the island itself being dense jungle and volcanic. We do have the crew manifests. The ship was called Marlow's Pride, and had a crew of 20, plus Conrad and a mercenary company called...8 Something. Their sigil was that of an 8 headed hydra."
Right continues on further, "We will of course provide a wizard that can teleport you to the Island, along with food and water. You can leave tomorrow morning."
Middle slides the contract along with an inkwell and quill across the table. "Pay will be a 20% commission of any recovered valueables, plus rights to any spoils not of precious materials. Sign there, or make your mark if you cannot read."
Munch is really, REALLY tempted to just thunk his axe into the paperwork at the implication of not reading... but instead just signs 'Munch TerrorMaw' in perfectly legible cursive.
Vennan eyes the contract for a moment before he adds his own signature, eyeing the warforged's dubiously. "Very well then. Any information on whether these indigenous peoples were hostile, or...?"
Angrid chuckles, hopping off his chair. "Ah well, the pig race isn't for another week anyways." Waiting his turn, before neatly printing his name in the angular Khazdul script. Once that's done, he picks up a roasted chicken leg, munching on it casually.
Inspecting the contract closely - one doesn't survive as a Charnese without learning to be careful - Faiza finally nods, and signs: a nigh-unreadable, though very fancy flourish that looks much longer than the simple "Faiza Belvade" she's introduced herself as. "If we are leaving tomorrow, I'd like to go over what documentation you have in the meanwhile. Better to be prepared..."
Eligar ponders for a moment, "What if we find any of the crew they still could be alive?" He asks as he gets up to sign the agreement after he fully reads it over he will sign it. He glances at Faiza, "Sir Eligar, Knight of Peace."
Right gestures to the damaged book laying on the table, "Help yourself. We have made copies."
Left shakes his head at Vennan, "At least one of the aboriginal peoples we do not believe to be hostile, what little is in Conrad's notes indicate they helped in the panning of the gold. But be prepared, of course."
Middle looks over a few pages before he answers Eligar, "That would be excellent. I believe death benefits were paid as per the prearranged contracts to 8 families. Recovery of those funds alone would set us almost even in our acquisition, not counting recovered assets."
(Fast Forward)
Conrad's notes are pretty well damaged and water logged. Who knows what fresh hell the books came through to get out of Charn. But what little there is gives details of the island and some of the language that the reptilian race speaks...Some sort of strange dialect of Draconic, for the linguistically inclined. A crude portrait of one of the races is drawn on one of the pages, but smudged greatly. Short and humanoid, with some sort of large hemisphere hats and loincloths as their only clothing, wielding spears. One of the more legible portions opines on the qualify of the wine made from local fruit and the beauty of the beaches and so on. The last legible entry is him worried about Ma-(something) getting rather harsh with one of the aboriginals after Jacob fell into one of their pit traps.
The next morning, you make your way to the next meeting spot, where a rather tired and elderly wizard is sipping on a cup of tea near the docks. He seems rather angry at being up so early, but once your preparations are ready, he has you all join hands and with a quick incantation, you find yourselves standing on a sandbar, staring out into the open ocean. Once you get your bearings, you see a rather ominous looking jungle island directly behind you perhaps a mile away, smoke rising from the active volcano that dominates the skyline. The transportation wizard grunts and digs out two squares of cloth, throwing both on the ground. With two popping noises, one turns into a large rowboat, and the other into several 5 gallon barrels of freshwater and a supply of jerky and hardtack. "I'll be back in 3 days. I recommend you be here." And with that, he disappears in another puff of smoke, leaving you to the task at hand.
Munch eyes the jungle with mild interest, then peers around a bit. "I recommend circling along the beach. Any flowing water will eventually come out there, we'd be unlikely to get lost, and any sort of civilization is likely to have something near the sea."
Angrid is fairly sedate until he gets a good look at the island. "Oy, a fire-mountain? Really? They thought putting a colony on an island with a fire-mountain was a good idea?" He shakes his head. "Alright, lads and lasses, let's load the boat up. I don't much fancy swimming."
Vennan is left unsteady for a moment by the wake of teleportation. He's never really liked it. Once he's steady again, his focus is upon the island. He nods wordlessly to Munch and Angrid, in silent agreement.
"Well." The Mul'niessa woman pauses, opening her mouth a couple of times as though trying to pop air pressure in her ears, and shakes her head. "Gah, teleportation always makes me feel so strange." Apparently she's been through it before; she leans forward with her hands on her knees for a moment, letting the disorientation fade. "Charming locale..." Faiza pauses again, nodding at the war golem. "Sounds sensible. And unless the colony's been completely razed to the ground, not even jungle's going to have overtaken all signs of it in so short a time."
Eligar checks over his horse as they get to the island. He looks at the wizard, "Just make sure you are here." He shrugs a little bit as he gets his lance ready as he gets up on his horse.
You make your way from the sandbar to the island proper. Once you all make it to the beach itself, you can see a small horde of what appear to be humanoid....turtles? running toward you, some with nets, a few other with bone-tipped barbed spears, squeaking and scrakking in some bizarre dialect of draconic. Not far behind them, ambling along is a much taller human in greenish rags with a red bandanna tied around his head, staff in one hand and a hand carved pipe in the other.
Immediately wary, Faiza adopts a guarded stance, but doesn't quite draw her weapon yet, watching the approach of the strangers. "Heads up, people," she warns, for the benefit of anyone who hasn't noticed the reptilians' approach yet. "We've got company." In the sweltering sun, her red hair and coal-black skin stands out all the more against the bright sea and sand.
"... They don't seem too thrilled about our presence." Vennan murmurs to the group, deadpan. He stands as best as he can in the boat, calling back out to the kobolds on the shore in the best Draconic he can muster. "We come in peace! We are not here to cause any trouble! There is no need for hostilities!"
Munch blinks with a soft click at the little lizard-folk, mildly insulted. Turning slightly so the sun catches his metallic scales, he plants his feet and spreads his leathery wings. Short, stubby, useless wings, but more than the average humanoid can muster. <<"What did you call me?">> He inquires in the draconic tongue.
Eligar moves off the row boat and he gets out his sword and shield. He hmms, "How would you feel if giants invaded your home and armed giants at that." He keeps his sword sheathed, but he has his shield up."
As the shell-backed kobolds draw closer, they stop dead in their tracks as they see Munch and Angrid, <<More murder outlanders like the beard leader and fire arm metal man!>> One of them shrieks, with similar cries in Draconic ringing out amongst the crowd. Roughly 15ft away, the armed ones brandish spears while some freeze in their tracks in terror and the others flee past the pipe smoking ragged human with the salt and pepper beard. "Hey maaan, guess you're here for the pearls and gold, huh? Thought they woulda sent somebody sooner." He takes another greedy drag and judging from his dilated pupils and goofy grin, it's not Alexandrian roundleaf he's smoking.
Angrid clears his throat pointedly at Eligar. "Giants? Now ye're just being offensive, elf." The dwarf sizes up the opposition (such as it is), and just shakes his head. Eyeing the human and his stupid smile, Angrid remarks, "Well, laddy, there is the small matter of 'nobody sending word back'."
For once not the target of other creatures' fear and hostility, Faiza gives Munch and Angrid a curious look... before stepping up towards the bearded fellow. "Hello there. I'm Faiza Belvade, Paladin of the Silver Guard. My compatriots and I have been sent to investigate the lack of communication and apparent disappearance of the settlements here."
Vennan shouts back at the kobolds. << No, no murder, I promise. We're just here to find out what happened to the last group that visited. We have no desire for violence. Please, be calm. >> He looks back to the bearded fellow, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Can you do anything to calm them? We did not come here to fight kobolds."
Munch blinks again and looks to Vennan. "You shouldn't make promises on who I may or may not kill." Then again, he isn't making any offensive motions, so it might work out. Turning his focus towards the 'native' human, he shrugs. "Here to find out what happened. Gold and riches are secondary. Close secondary, but still."
Eligar introduces himself to the kobolds. "I'm Sir Eligar, Knight of Peace. We have come here to find out what happened to the colony that was here." He looks at Angrid, "Well some are more giant then others."
Conrad pretty much eye-fucks Faiza through her armor while he takes another drag, but calms the rest of the turtle-bolds down in their own Dialect, <<Chill, these guys aren't with Beard Leader. You Krupa are okay, just go back to fishing and I'll sort this out.>> Attention back to Faiza, "Paladin, huh? Figures, two years and the first piece I see is a Paladin. Things oughta get interesting." The scruffed rag-wizard turns to head down the beach, "Anyway, I'm Conrad, if you didn't already know. You seemed to have the knowing vibe, y'know? But I guess I can start at the beginning..."
The rest of the little reptilians disperse, heading back into either the ocean or down the beach wence they came, while Conrad ambles along down the beach. "Alright, so you got two tribes on the island. The Krupa, which are these guys." He points a pipe at one of the turtle-bolds, "And the Gumbai. Sort of like Vegepygmies, only they have caps like mushrooms and they smell like Portabello when they burn. Anyway, the Krupa were just dominating the shit out of the Gumbai, like they need dead bodies to make more of themselves, but the Krupa would eat their own and just kept picking them off with traps until they could just enslave them.
Anyway, Marius protected them while they went and got pearls for us." Conrad reaches into a pouch on his rags and pulls out a handful of shiny white pearls, tossing them in the ocean like it was bread crumbs for pigeons. "Anyway, while I was gone, Marius and his boys decided to just end the thing. He finds the King of the Krupa and kills him. Just goes total savage on the guy. He made a throne out of his shell and just slaughters like almost all of them, lets the Gumbai swell up and run the show. Now Marius is all Big King of the Island. He's sound in mind, but his soul is mad, you dig?"
Munch follows the gist of it all, but has his own priorities on the details. "'Portabello', eh? How do they taste? And what other members of the expidition are alive?"
Vennan looks rather disgusted by the sordid tale related by Conrad. Not to mention his comments about Faiza. "... Your time away from civilization evidently has done your manners few favors." He says with a sigh." He glances to Munch and nods. "Yes. What other survivors are there, that you know of?"
Faiza tries not to take offense at the staring. Or, well, leering really. She follows along as the raggedy man explains the situation on the islands, nodding seriously at key points. "Sounds like you've got yourself quite a situation here. Where do you stand in all of this? What's your angle?" Seems like someone's letting a bit of the old Charnese cynicism slip through. "And don't tell me you're just in it for the pipeweed."
Eligar shakes his head a little bit as he listens to the tale that Conrad has to tell and he frowns at Faiza is stared at like that. He moves to back her up if it's needed. "And why didn't you go back to Alexandria. You are a wizard certainly you could have used magic to get yourself back."
Angrid looks a bit appalled at the description of things as well. Then again, as savage and desolate as this island seems... he thinks a bit. "Marius was one of the original expedition, wasn't he?" He taps his metalshod fingertips on his shield. "Maybe he decided he'd rather be king of his own little paradise."
Conrad cackles at Vennan, "Civilization, what a crazy bullshit word. Just lies to make stealing easier." The drug-addled wizard starts to pack another bowl as he walks along, pointing out a hut that looks to be made out of a shipwreck. "Man, I'd go back if I could. But Marius is crazy. The rest of the 8-Bite crew just want money, but Marius...He wants blood. He wants a war that'll never end, that's why he let me leave the first time with all those riches. When I came back ready to fill the coffers of House Vandoral again, he grabs me and torches my spellbook. Then he shows me the rest of the crew, all tied to stakes, with Gumbai's popping out of them like they were eggs....the horror, the horror of it." His voice grows distant and he stares off into the horizon of the sea, "He gave them a taste so they'd send people looking, more to kill, more to grow the Gumbai. I'm only around to talk to the Kupra, and they're only around to fish and get pearls."
Eligar frowns, "I'm sorry to hear that, we are here to take you back if you want to go, but we can't leave a tyrant on the island. What would be the best way to defeat him? What is he weakness?"
Munch nods. "So we stomp the gumbai flat... or is that singular? What's the plural, 'goomba'? Anyway, get past them, stop Marius, get you back to civilization, and bring along what riches we can to keep the bean-counters happy, yeah?"
Vennan just eyes Conrad, frowning. "... So you are some sort of radical, inebriated malcontent. Wonderful. Don't have nearly enough of those on guild jobs." He sighs heavily and shakes his head. "... I suppose we'd best deal with this 'Marius', then. What can you tell us about his abilities? What combat tactics does he favor?"
Angrid just shakes his head at Conrad. "Laddy, this ain't the time nor place to discuss proper civilization." He nods at Eligar and Vennan's questions. "Best to deal with this before it becomes serious. Like treatin' a disease before it brings you down."
Faiza looks distinctly unhappy about the situation. "Has anyone tried talking to the gumbai? If this Marius character is such a tyrant, surely there must be some dissidents among their ranks. I imagine they're none too fond of... essentially slavery." She speaks the last word with some vehemence, like the very concept offends her. Strange reaction for a Mul'niessa with such a distinctly Charnese accent. She adds, after a pause, "How do you stand on the issue of House Vandoral now?"
Conrad drops down to sit on a barrel turned bench outside his hut, "Whoa, whoa whoa too many questions like mosquitos in my brain, stealing my knowledge. Not cool." He takes a deep puff and rubs his bearded face with his free hand, contemplating the questions and then answering them in no particular order. "He beats you to death with that giant fuck-all hammer. Or gets that giant mule-headed gorilla he keeps around for a pet, Kang, to tear you apart. And he says the spirits of blood and the jungle speak to him in dreams and teach him words of power, sounds like some crazy pagan idoltry right there. But first you'd have to get through his men. There's the elf, and that war golem with the ray gun in his arm, and that charnese guy with the whip....And somebody else, I can't remember. I'm tired. But those Gumbai are happier than pigs in shit, their numbers are swollen and the Kupra are dogs to them now. But if you take down Marius, they'll worship you. It's a whole god-king take the power sort of thing, I dunno. Anyway, get started. Just head up the river that's another quarter mile down the beach. I'd help, but I'm not really good at picking a winning horse, so I think I'll sit this one out." He leans back and closes his eyes for a nap, adding to Faiza before he shuts his eyes again, "They owe me two years salary."
"Bad news for you then, my friend," says Faiza, not unkindly. "House Vandoral has collapsed. We were sent here by the interests that bought the colonies from them." It would seem strange for a Charnese House to send a paladin, after all. "Assuming you're telling the truth here," and she looks like she's prepared to give Conrad the benefit of the doubt... for now, "this is going to be... interesting." The shadow elf loosens the peace knot off her sword's pommel. "Anyone have any suggestions on how we go about this?"
Eligar hmms, "We all attack them one at a time?" He suggests as he reaches for the symbol of his order and he closes his eyes. It starts to glow and in a moment there is his warhorse standing before him with his lance. He moves to get up and he picks up the lance, "Who is the closest enemy?"
"... Go up the river a quarter mile, find this Marius, liberate the tribe one way or another, and find what we've been sent here to find." Vennan replies to Faiza. "... And pray that this does not grow more irritating and complicated than it already has."
Angrid reaches back, and casually hefts his waraxe. "Well, lass, no offense, but I figured we'd just hunt them down -- preferably one at a time, as group fights can get a bit dicey -- and politely complain about the error of their ways."
(Fast Forward)
Conrad makes a few grunting answers before he finally shoos you off and dissappears into his hut for a chug of some sort of turtle-man made wine and a nice long nap. Leaving you to follow his directions, they are simple enough. You make your way down the beach a quarter mile until you hit the mouth of the river and then start the trek upwards through the dense jungle with all sorts of exotic wildlife that fantasy Charles Darwin hasn't discovered yet (Probably because he got eaten by an owlbear wondering how such a creature could have been naturally selected). After a two hour hike, you finally come across the first opposition, who seem to be waiting on you on both sides of the river and atop the stones in the middle:
Standing on a large rock outcropping in the middle of the river is a breastplate clad severe looking human of Charnese descent with a wicked looking short sword in one hand and a long whip in the other.
On another stone fifteen yards of so behind him is a dawn elf in tattered green clothing with a shield slung over his back, an ocarina in one hand and a bow in the other.
On the left bank is a short human male with red hand wraps and a black loin cloth, in a martial arts pose.
On the right bank is a blue tinted war golem with some sort of artifice cannon built into his right arm, replacing his hand.
The Charnese warrior snaps his whip menacingly and growls, "This is our island now. I'd say crawl back to your pissant continent, but we'd much rather kill you and take your stuff." Turns out they are ex-adventurers after all!
Current Initiative Order ===
23 Angrid
19 Lynx
17 Mak
16 Megus
15 Faiza
13 Eligar
10 Vennan
8 Belmort
5 Munch
===================
GAME: Angrid rolls 1d20+12: (1)+12: 13
Angrid is just not used to this soft terrain, the mud sucking at his armored boots as the dwarf begins a steady jog towards the wargolem. "Ye better hope you brought more men then, boy," he scoffs disdainfully at Belmort, before his axe sweeps around quite impressivel
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+9: (18)+9: 27
GAME: Kade rolls 1d6+6: (2)+6: 8
GAME: Kade damaged Munch for 8 points. 61 remaining.
GAME: Munch rolls fort: (18)+9: 27
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+10: (1)+10: 11
Lynx puts the ocarina to his lips and begins to play a rather ominous tune that seems to invigorate and focus his comrades, holding the instrument in his mouth by his teeth so he can free a hand to draw and nock an arrow. Meanwhile, the human surges forward and drives a hardened fist into Munch's metal face, snapping his head back, but not sending the golem reeling as he had hoped. Meanwhile, the other war golem stumbles in the muddy banks trying to avoid Angrid's wild swings, and the shot from his arm cannon goes wild, frying some jungle foliage.
GAME: Faiza rolls 1d20+11: (3)+11: 14
Shield and sword out - funnily enough, she seems to be left-handed, much like Lynx over there - Faiza barrels ahead, arriving at the blue-tinged war golem in time to swing that shiny longsword... and slice a fern in two. She looks a little surprised at how agile her opponent is! "Surrender, and we'll be merciful!" she says, perhaps a little belatedly.
GAME: Eligar rolls ride: (4)+8: 12
GAME: Eligar rolls 1d20+8: (9)+8: 17
Eligar spots the others and he goes to help Faiza with the one that she's attacking. Crossing the river slows him down so he can get up to full speed with is warhorse. It throws off his aim as well as the lance misses the war golem as he rides by.
GAME: Vennan rolls acrobatics: (2)+13: 15
GAME: Vennan rolls melee + 6: (13)+6+6: 25
GAME: Vennan rolls 4d6 + 2: (10)+2: 12
Vennan narrows his eyes and dashes forward, drawing his rapier from his belt as he leaps across the river to close the distance with the whip-wielding fellow. He strikes as he lands, driving the tip of his blade into his foe's gut. "Surrender!" He shouts.
GAME: Vennan rolls melee + 4: (3)+6+4: 13
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+9: (2)+9: 11
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+7: (15)+7: 22
GAME: Kade rolls 1d6+1: (5)+1: 6
GAME: Kade damaged Vennan for 6 points. 35 remaining.
Belmort winces as he pushes back and slides off Vennan's blade, infuriated by both the stab and the demand to surrender. With a snap of his wrist, he snakes his whip around the elf's leg, but telegraphs his attack far too much to be effective in tripping his opponent up. His blade does find purchase, giving Vennan a swift but shallow jab in the side.
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+10: (12)+10: 22
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+5: (2)+5: 7
GAME: Munch rolls 1d12+8: (8)+8: 16
Munch rocks back a bit as he take a fist to the jaw, and his blue magicite eyes darked to a glowing red. The jaw splits and spreads, reveiling row upon row of nightmare metal teeth lineing the interior. Internal bladders squeeze, pumping potent chemicals into the golem's muscles, which visibally swell, heat pouring off from the reaction. "You have chosen... poorly." The golem's head snaps forward, teeth grazeing across the skin but failing to draw blood. Then the axe comes round, and there's plenty of blood, spraying out from a large cut across the smaller fighters torso.
GAME: Angrid rolls 1d10+10: (3)+10: 13
GAME: Angrid rolls 1d6: (2): 2
Angrid advances, shield up. "Give up, 'tis not too late to survive." Suddenly, he snap-swings his axe, the broad blade's edge glowing like molten steel and carving a path through Megus's shell, inflicting a brutal wound. Wisps of smoke drift up from Angrid's weapon, as the dwarf stalks his prey.
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+6: (1)+6: 7
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+6: (19)+6: 25
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+6: (11)+6: 17
GAME: Kade rolls 1d6+5: (6)+5: 11
GAME: Kade damaged Munch for 11 points. 50 remaining.
GAME: Munch rolls fort: (18)+9: 27
GAME: Angrid rolls Will: (20)+3: 23
GAME: Faiza rolls will: (15)+8: 23
In a flurry of violent activity, Lynx draws his bow back and launches an arrow at Eligar as he continues to play the ocarina (no hands ma!), only to see the arrow sail off into the treeline. Meanwhile, Mak fairs slightly better, dropping a feint punch to the jaw again that fails to do any damage, only to drive his fist into Munch's stomach. If he was a fat king of waterborn large mammals, his breeches would have surely fallen down just then. But alas, Munch is a war golem, and a well built one. Meanwhile, the blue golem scuttles back further and drops a rainbow colored crystal down the barrel of his arm cannon, which takes on a high pitched whine before a blast of light coats both Angrid and Faiza, having little effect beyond making a few spots swim in their vision.
GAME: Faiza rolls 1d20+11: (13)+11: 24
GAME: Faiza rolls 1d8+4: (5)+4: 9
Angrid has disconnected.
Pause. Glance over at Angrid. "Did he just try to...?" Faiza shakes her head a little, ginger ponytail bobbing, and follows the war golem relentlessly, harrying him even as he tries to retreat to get a good shot. Her sword slashes upwards, scoring a crackling gash in the constructed being's hide and exposing circuitry. "Really, make it easier on yourself. You're outmatched."
GAME: Eligar rolls 1d20+12: (2)+12: 14
Eligar sees that the others have it well in hand. He spots the bow wielding flute player that tried to hit him with the arrow. He turns his horse around and the charges towards him. Unfortunately his aim is still off and he misses.
GAME: Vennan rolls 1d20+4: (18)+4: 22
GAME: Vennan rolls 1d20+3: (11)+3: 14
GAME: Vennan rolls melee + 4: (2)+6+4: 12
GAME: Vennan rolls 1d6+2: (5)+2: 7
Vennan winces and swears in elven when he is cut by Belmort's blade. He staggers back before lunging again, driving his rapier in not far from where his first blow landed.
GAME: Vennan rolls melee + 4: (16)+6+4: 26
GAME: Vennan rolls melee + 4: (15)+6+4: 25
When the whip-wielding fellow attempts a counterattack, Vennan takes advantage of the momentary break in his defenses and lunges again, driving the point of his blade into his foe's neck. It drops him dead.
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+10: (19)+10: 29
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+5: (2)+5: 7
GAME: Munch rolls 1d12+8: (7)+8: 15
Munch wuffs softly as he takes a punch to the gut, and emphasis the bend foreward, teeth snapping at the retreating arm. Another swing of the axe slices open the little boxer's gut, spilling more blood before the foe drops into the mud. Glowing eyes peer around for another vic-... er... 'opponent'.
Angrid is all but ready to reduce Megus to a heap of smoking scrap, but the War Golem, seeing half his allies dead by foes that are practically untouched, decides that he likes living. His arm cannon pops off the mount and the blue golem raises his hands, "MEGUS WISHES TO SURRENDER." And the elf, seeing the same, and with a mounted knight right up on him ready to have his skull crushed by hooves, drops his bow and spits out his ocarina, but whistles the sad-trombone tune. Poor mute protagonists. Antagonists. Whatever.
GAME: Kade has cleared initiatives.
Hurrying once the remaining enemies have surrendered, Faiza oversees the securing of the capties, getting them tied up and readied for transportation back... and then, gathering her allies -and- the captives around herself, presses a hand to the holy symbol of Eluna embossed on her breastplate and murmurs a brief but heartfelt prayer to her goddess. A wave of silvery light washes across the scene centered on the redheaded shadow elf, knitting together wounds and halting bleeding. Turns out the Mul'niessa may be telling the truth about being a paladin!
GAME: Faiza rolls 2d6: (7): 7
GAME: Kade damaged Vennan for -7 points. 41 remaining.
GAME: Kade damaged Munch for -7 points. 57 remaining.
Munch glares a moment at foes still standing, but sighs and relaxes. The divine flow of healing power certainly helping to shift out of combat mode. As his eyes shift back to blue, his swelled muscles deflate in a cloud of greenish vapor that causes a bush to brown and loose it's leaves before dissapateing.
Eligar helps ti disarm the others and he takes out a length or rope to tie up the captured enemies to send them back with Angrid. He frowns, "Well shall we take out the tyrant and free this colony?"
Vennan assists in the binding of the surviving foes, frowning and wincing all the while, though the wincing gets considerably better once the healing is applied. "I always tell them to surrender, right up front. But by the time they've realized it's a good idea, there's always too much bloodshed." He looks to Eligar, then nods. "Time to finish this."
Angrid isn't happy about having to stay behind and not murder a psychotic tyrant, but he handles the task well enough, heading back towards the beach. Meanwhile, the four of you press on up the river. The canopy becomes thicker, and the smell of smoke stronger, then the smell of rot. Then you see the heads. Human, Kupra, and Gumbai, severed and rotting, stuck on bamboo stakes, their withered faces frozen in their taste few moments of terror before death. Then come the drums, dozens of them, accompanied by the sound of spears slapping against stone. Then you see it.
The former Kupra village, now the domain of Marius and his Gumbai, some sort of sick and twisted mushroom kingdom. Chunks of Marlow's Pride pulled up to form a half-finished palace, surrounded by scaffolding. In the center is a massive throne made from the shell of an exceptionally large Kupra, now long dead. And sitting in the throne is a bald dwarf, half cloaked in the shadow of the shell-throne overhang, his chainmail shirt stained red with rust and blood, a massive hammer in his lap. To the left and right are at least forty of the Gumbai creatures, banging their fungal hands on drums made of human skin or banging spears with shafts of femurs on the ground, but otherwise silent. Lurking at the top of the scaffolding is a great brown ape with a feral gleam in it's eyes, growling. Marius holds up a hand and the drumming stops.
"So you are the ones they sent. Assassins? Soldiers? Pfeh. Errand boys sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill. You at least did me the favor of wiping out those gold groveling sycophants?" Marius booms.
"I suppose that peaceful negotiations and surrender are out of the question?" Vennan asks wearily as he surveys the scene, hands already upon his weapons.
Munch peers around a long moment, appraising the place before glancing at his companions. "Okay, the monkey's a bit of a susprise, but the rest is kinda how I pictured it."
Faiza's sword and shield are out, but not pointed or held threateningly; it seems she's decided caution is better than demonstrating peaceful intent. And really, their intent isn't all that peaceful. "I am Faiza Belvade, Paladin of the Silver Guard of Eluna," she says simply, locking eyes with the dwarf atop the makeshift 'throne'. "We were sent to investigate the disappearances and lack of communication from the settlements here, and found scenes of madness, subjugation and slavery. Honour compels me to offer you mercy and a chance to surrender and submit to the process of justice." The shadow elf's voice, deep for such a slender, small woman, rises steadily in strength as she speaks. "Accept it, and you shall not be harmed... by us."
Marius drops his hammer to the ground head first, eyes rolling back into his head, chanting something about offering the blood to the earth. Those familiar with spells would recognize it as some sort of divine prayer to bless his weapon. Once finished, he pulls himself to his feet and hefts the hammer. "Make your preparations and prepare to meet your god, Mul. I tire of talk."
Munch sighs, and just twirls his axe. He's -been- ready. But, no sence in being impolite.
GAME: Faiza used a Scroll of Bull's Strength.
Current Initiative Order ====
19 Faiza
18 Marius
14 Munch
11 Vennan
4 Kang
============================
GAME: Faiza rolls 1d20+17: (7)+17: 24
GAME: Faiza rolls 1d8+10: (3)+10: 13
Raising her sword up high, the coal-skinned redheaded paladin intones a swift prayer to Eluna... and suddenly -barrels- forward, the gleam of her sword a sudden silvery blur that leaves an afterimage on the retina of anyone watching. As she swings, a glow seems to shine down on her and the target of her ire from above, bathing the scene of combat in a silvery, serene light and causing Faiza's weapon to shine like a holy beacon. The swing impacts painfully, drawing blood and seeming to sizzle where it cleaves flesh.
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+15: (19)+15: 34
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+8: (5)+8: 13
GAME: Kade rolls 3d6+15: (12)+15: 27
GAME: Kade damaged Faiza for 27 points. 6 remaining.
Marius growls with pain as his corrupt flesh is hewn by the paladin's holy blade, but stands his ground and swings wide. Even with divine protection, the mad dwarf's hammer cracks straight across Faiza's breastplate, cracking ribs and bursting all sorts of organs. Muls have a squeedly-spootch, right? Luckily, his second swing on the return trip from the massive mallet goes wide and does nothing but make a massive indention in the dirt next to Faiza.
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+10+2: (17)+10+2: 29
GAME: Munch rolls 1d12+8: (4)+8: 12
Munch buzzes in mild annoyance and charges in after the paladin, the wide swing of his axe nearly slicing open a veggie-guy. To be fair, the sharp blade comes a little close to Faiza before it thunks into dorf flesh, leaving a fresh rend for the blood to escape.
GAME: Vennan rolls melee + 6: (17)+6+6: 29
GAME: Vennan rolls melee + 6: (18)+6+6: 30
GAME: Vennan rolls 2d6+4: (7)+4: 11
Vennan narrows his eyes once again. Today has not been a good day. First inexplicable whip-wielding mutes, then bizarre monkeys who want to hurl barrels at him. There is only one possible response. Dash into battle and stab the fellow behind all this. So, he does that.
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+7: (3)+7: 10
The ape Kang comes to his master's defense. Or at least he wants to get in on the action. Shrieking with baleful glee and beating on his chest, the ape picks up one of the smaller barrels on the scaffolding and hurls it down at Vennan, doing little but sending splinters flying everywhere as it smashes on the ground.
GAME: Faiza rolls 2d6: (3): 3
GAME: Kade damaged Faiza for -3 points. 9 remaining.
GAME: Faiza rolls 1d20+17: (13)+17: 30
GAME: Faiza rolls 1d8+10: (6)+10: 16
"Submit!" Banged up severely, Faiza nevertheless manages to stay on her feet and swing that shiny, glowing sword at the maddened dwarf. "We have you outnumbered." The swing impacts, once more burning corrupt flesh with holy radiance, but she rather spoils the effect by coughing raspingly and clutching at her side for a moment. That hit really took it out of her!
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+15: (19)+15: 34
GAME: Kade rolls 3d6+15: (14)+15: 29
GAME: Kade damaged Faiza for 29 points. -20 remaining.
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+7: (19)+7: 26
GAME: Kade rolls 3d6+15: (13)+15: 28
GAME: Kade damaged Munch for 28 points. 29 remaining.
GAME: Faiza rolls 3d6: (9): 9
Marius howls as he is assaulted from multiple fronts and just begins swinging wildly. The first hit clips the side of Faiza's head, crumpling the Mul Paladin, while the backswing of his hammer wrecks the abdominal plates of Munch. Through a spray of blood and spittle, the dwarf screams, "Come on! Give me everything!" Guess it looks like he plans on going down fighting, unlike his subordinates...
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+10: (16)+10: 26
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+5: (4)+5: 9
GAME: Munch rolls 1d12+8: (11)+8: 19
Munch grunts as the un-naturally heavy weapon slams into him, but remains upright. "Nice hit, but you fell for it. She's the pretty distraction. -I'm- the danger." The golem's wide blade comes around again, chainmail links popping like bubblewrap as the steel slices thru, bringing a fresh shower of gore. The crumpled Mul could use a hand, but that brief divine glow is either a sign she'll be okay, or that it's too late. Either way, best he can do is retain the madman's focus on himself.
GAME: Vennan rolls melee+4: (4)+6+4: 14
GAME: Vennan rolls melee+3: (10)+6+3: 19
GAME: Vennan rolls 4d6+2: (14)+2: 16
Vennan lunges at Marius again, his blade missing the mark and veering off to one side. Fortunately, the strike leaves his target's defenses open just enough for him to swing his mace around into the side of his opponent's head.
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+7: (13)+7: 20
GAME: Kade rolls 1d8+7: (2)+7: 9
Kang continues with his assault, slinging yet another barrel. On the downside, it cracks against his head. On the plus side, it's full of water, so at least the excess blood and alchemical sludge that war golems use for blood is getting washed off!
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+15: (7)+15: 22
GAME: Kade rolls 1d20+7: (11)+7: 18
GAME: Kade rolls 3d6+15: (11)+15: 26
GAME: Kade damaged Munch for 26 points. -6 remaining. (Munch at 6 from Rage HP btw)
Marius, barely clinging to life by sheer will alone, continues his assault, crumpling the war golem's chest plate before whirling around to face Vennan, missing him just barely as blood streams down his many wounds and from the edge of his massive hammer.
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+10: (3)+10: 13
GAME: Munch rolls 1d20+5: (18)+5: 23
GAME: Munch rolls 1d6+5: (5)+5: 10
Munch wobbles on his feet, barely up himself. His axe swings around, well over the dwarf's head, but the snap of metal teeth catch on the chainmail, yanking the two together with a shower of gore. The golem straightens slowly, as the tyrant falls to the ground. The golem turns, peering up at the monkey a moment before looking over the mushroom men. "...alright. Who's next?"
Faiza is lying unconscious beside the fallen dwarf, hand on the shield-arm curled around the symbol of Eluna embossed in her breastplate. So that's where that mysterious silvery glow came from as she fell. She seems worse for wear, but nowhere near as badly as she ought to, from the impact of that enormous hammer.
For a moment there is a long silence. Then Kang jumps down and swings on a vine, snatching up one of the little Mushroom people, squealing in horror the way only a mute race can. Guess he was hungry and on the run. The gorilla disappears now that his master is dead, and the rest of the Gumbai's begin the drumming again, in a very Return of the Jedi, Ewok style fashion. Only with more overt human flesh eating and drum making.
GAME: Munch used a Potion of repair light damage.
The Gumbai seems to calm down and eventually get the idea that you aren't gods, or you at least don't want anything to do with them. (Well, the Paladin doesn't, who doesn't want an army of mushroom minions amirite?) But nursing your wounds, you search through Marius' 'palace' and finds large troves of pearls, gold flake, jade, and ivory. After a few days enjoying the beaches (Mul like sunny beaches, right?), the wizard returns and transports all of your filthy blood riches and your prisoners (and you of course) back to good ol' Alexandria. Conrad doesn't seem to be in any hurry to leave and volunteers to stay behind and keep the situation stable until new workers can arrive. And he doesn't really have anything to go back to (So sad).
FIN.