Candy Cannon

Ahh, mid morning, edging on Noon, the time of brunch, when the last of the breakfast is being served, and the first of lunch. Thats why Vuk is out and about instead of being in his small little cabin on the edge of town. He doesn't always enjoy cooking his own meals, -especially- when there's fresh fish to be had. So with his standard cheerful attitude and energetic step does he decide to visit the Fernwood, doffing his top hat at a few people as he comes in. "Greetings! Merry Met! I hope you enjoy this most wonderous day!" He says as he heads towards the bar to find a stool he can climb up..

Zoob bounces into the Fernwood, wide ears flapping in the air as he bounds across the floor and scales a barstool in one move. "Ale! Drink! I have a powerful thirst!" The staff appear familiar with his antics and don't react aside from pulling him a beer. Zoob then looks around to see who else is up, his eye alighting on the other Gobber. He bows from his stance on the stool. "I appreciate your hat, sirrah! Most excellent!"

Zoob isn't the only one the staff know! Except Vuk has a habbit of -causing- stools to tip over after climbing them. Really, he climbs into one and then Zoob -has- to be energetic and it makes Vuk stand on his and bow deeply at the waist with his top hat off. "Why think you mist kind Sir! Not many appreciate these, they do not understand how a right and proper adventurer must -always- be dressed for a formal occasion!" He says and then turns to the bar keep and waves his hands in the air to get attention. "My good Innkeep! May I have a glass of strawberry wine and some fried fish accompanied by sausage and gravy on bread?" Then as he twists about to speak to Zoob, the inevitable CRASH of the stool happens as he looks ready to launch into an energetic discussion.

Zoob drops off his stool with a quick slide and bounces closer. "Are you alright my good sir? The stools here are most unstable I must say, reminds me of the masts of the last airship I worked, the Pegasus. The Pigasus we alled her due to the wallowing motion whenever the wind was astern which was most of the time, you understand that she was underpowered of course as we had to go with the wind rather than against. That's how I ended up in Dragonier, or rather almost did before I disembarked just before entering over a small misunderstanding about a barrel of apples and a brace of herring." He offers a hand to the dapper gentleman, shrugging his thunderbelcher out of the way as he does so. "I'm Zoob, airman and marksman and general wastrel it appears. Whom to I have the pleasure of addressing?"

Vuk appears quite alright, and some one is already righting the stool. It's part of a routine, never serve Vuk till he's fallen off the stool, they learned that the hard way. So he'll grab Zoob's hand to get him self pulled up and dust him self off. "An airman you say? Most fascinating! I've seen them, but I have yet to travel by such a means..though, I have little doubt my friend Zippo would encourage it! It may be safer then the last boat I was on..we ended up ship wrecked for some time on an unknown island!"

Zoob shakes the hand vigorously. "Never trust a water ship, that's my motto. I've also been shipwrecked recently, some nonsense about water elementals and storms, it was most unpleasant. Give me a good airship any day, as long as you don't fall off or are roped in it's much safer. There's nowhere to drown, and you can see the monsters coming from much further away when they have to fly to you. That's why a good marksman is invaluable as opposed to that travesty of a water-ship what with being ambushed from the waves and all that, can't happen on an airship. At least not as much." His rapid-fire speech winds down a little as he scales his stool partway to grab his ale, now poured and delivered.

Vuk isn't even allowed a chance to repeat the stool of doom scenario, the Innkeep sends his food via wench to a low table for him and he follows, because food. "It isn't drowning that bothers me, it's how easy it is to become lost with out landmarks! Give me my trusted wolf and a trail in the woods and I can find you a way home! Ships just..sort of float around at the mercy of the wind! Though..I suppose an airship has engines, doesn't it..or magic. Wizard Engines, maybe the rumors are true! They cage our kind in the engine to turn gears!"

Zoob takes his ale over to the low table as well, settling down on a bench with a squirm for comfort. "Air ships work by all sorts of different means, some use giant gasbags to help the magic and others just use speed and lifting planes, while some just sort of float around where the wind pushes. Engines all work differently too. I haven't heard of any that are directly Gobber-powered but there are certainly many that would just fall apart without a good engineer, usually a Gobber, running maintenance. We keep most airships running, we make the best mechanics and we're lightweight too!" He takes a big swig, almost choking but managing to keep it down. "Of course some say tha Gnomes also make good machines and that's true if you want one finely tuned masterpiece every 10 years, but give me Gobber engineering any day! We turn them out ten times as fast and twice as loud, and if they break down a little more, that just makes more work for us keeping them patched up!"

Vuk is a firm believer in the Superiority of Gobbers him self, but he's also carefully going to debone the fish he was served, and then starts cutting up the bread and sausage and gravy, so he can mix the bead with it, and then digs in with gusto as Zoob talks. "Well, I'm no Engineer I'm afraid, though I've built my own long gun, my expertise is in keeping people well fed and happy! Give me a kitchen and the most basic of ingredients and I can still turn out a dandy of a pudding and bacon and onion soup worthy of any prince!" He says, he often tries to insist on this..often times, he doesn't get a chance to prove it!

Zoob perks up even more (if that is possible). "A cook! Who can also build guns! Have you tried combining the two? My aunt Myrna attempted to make a cannon that shot boiling gravy for defending her home once, but she was a little eccentric and she couldn't get the spicing right. She found that keeping the ammunition hot in a boiler for more than a few days started degrading the ingredients, something about the fire source I suspect, it kept tasting like fire newt so she abandoned the project."

Vuk blinks his eyes a few times, even to -him- that seems a bit extreme it seems! "Well..no. I don't think it would truly deter the undead, which I am rather proficient in dealing with! They care little for food unless it happens to be a poor fellow that's wits weren't about him and falls prey to them I'm afraid. Though.. I do wonder.. we -could- make a sort of toy gun that fired delightful little wrapped candies! I should see if Zippo would make them for children!"

Zoob ponders briefly. "For undead I believe that they are deterred by garlic. Perhaps a sort of rocket launcher that explodes a head of roast garlic at the target, would be tasty and also a weapon but only against the undead! I can get right on drawing up some plans but I've only really worked with guns myself, I suspect you'll need a full-on artificer for the explosions part." He segues back into the conversation had just left. "Toy guns shooting candy, a brilliant idea! You can make it seem like you are helping the sproglets out but really you can ward off swarms with high-powered projectiles that they can then eat so that they don't get too upset! Wait, what were we talking about again?"

Vuk cocks his head a bit, he never knew undead were afraid of garlic! "A wonderful idea..perhaps instead of a gun firing garlic, we fill a bullet -with- garlic. This why we ensure the garlic can be brushed off as the shell would explode inside them! Though I never knew undead hated garlic, I will need to ask a cleric about this! Perhaps they actually have such bullets and us Goblins can make them so easily attainable the undead will never both us again!" Vuk isn't sure about monsters stopping to eat candy though.. "I was thinking perhaps, we can let young adventurers in training fire candy at each other, to both provide excellent training and delicious rewards for it! Then one day they will match my prowess and renown!"

Zoob continues talking at great speed, ears flapping. "Well, have you ever met an undead that smelled of garlic? I'm told that they all hate and fear it, but maybe that's just an old story, perhaps some more research is in order first. Or maybe not, firing garlic at things really would be its own reward, worth doing just to say you had." He nods at the mention of training weapons for children. "Match, or at least approach I suspect. I was actually talking about using a candy gun to ward off roving packs of children, they can get so annoying and underfoot and that way you could control them without long-term complaints as you could rightly point out that you were just giving them candy. At high speed. Training weapons works too though.

Vuk has to tap his chin before trying his fish, followed with a sip of his strawberry wine. "Well, I can provide candy for such research, as long as no one is hurt..and I know the market place has an ample supply of garlic! It keeps well and is used in many recipes! Perhaps you should begin a design and I will provide the munitions as it were!"

Zoob slurps back the last of his ale and hops to his feet. "And excellent idea! I'll do that right away! Perhaps a dual-purpose device, garlic and candy in one. Or candied garlic! Scare the undead and delight the kiddies all in one device!"

Vuk blanches a bit when he says -candied garlic-. "I do not believe Candied Garlic would be very good tasting..perhaps if put into a bread as a sort of savoury sweet ending to a meal...but I wouldn't try to eat it on it's own!" He says to Zoob as he pops off his seat!

Zoob pays no attention. "Yes! I can see it now! Zoob and... whatever your name was's Patented Candied Garlic Propulsion Device! Thrill your kiddies! Kill your undead! Bill your lawyer for the damages! Or something like that anyway. I'll go draw up plans immediately and get back to you!" He starts bounding towards the door, deaf to the world.

Vuk will give a wave towards Zoob as the ..he assumes artificer is off to ..make plans? Vuk never drew plans for his long gun, he just built it! "Good luck Zoob! The name is Vuk by the by! I'm sure we can make some grand device so even when our adventuring days are over we'll still be remembered!"

Zoob bounds through the door, trailing something about ballistics and sugar in his wake.