Imprudent Imposter

Goblintown, afternoon

It's a cold, blustery day in Alexandria, but that doesn't stop commerce, especially in Goblintown. People come to barter and outright purchase items from all over the city, and more. A melting pot of voices, languages, and people. The Watch is always busy, but mostly keeping the explosions to a minimum.

The stalls on the west side are populated with various buyers. A gobber here, a rangy-looking oruch there, and a half-elf with platinum blond hair and an elaborate hat who is haggling with one merchant -- trying to get something on credit, it seems. This gobber merchant taps the sign that says, 'In the gods, we trust -- all others pay in cash'.

The little Temperance wanders happily through the market, lugging around a sizable (for her) closed basket. Her pale features are slightly marred, sporting a pale bruise on her left cheek, and a split lip, though her expression and posture don't seem hampered by these things at all.

Simony pauses at a stall where various hot peppers are on offer, and she picks out a number of chili peppers, drops the requisite coins into the shop-Gobber's hand, carefully deposits the peppers into her basket, and seals it up after.

As she approaches the Half-Elf in the elaborate hat, the Gobbo does a double-take, squinting curiously at first, but then her expression grows suspicious. She sidles up to the platinum blond, as if waiting her turn in line.

Goblintown is certainly a place Slixvah can get some more... esoteric purchases. The multirobed, multihued ribboned egalrin flits about the shops, pocketing purchases that totally aren't rodent bones and... is that a blouse?

The witch stops beside the stall with the haggling half-elf, her tilting her head at them. Hmmm. Might as well keep perusing these pregreased ball bearings...

"I, Franzerio, haff traveled many days to bring you these, da finest ov peppers! Da best! Good price! Very good price!"

Mikilos rolls his eyes and sighs, but smiles. "Frank, pick an accent. Do we really have to go through this every time? Put that crap away and get me two bags of your mom's stuff."

"....fine. You have no apperication for the art of the sale." The merchant grabs two small bags of crushed peppers from under the counter, haggeling only a little before accepting a handful of coins.

Mikilos tucks the peppers away in his pack before peering around the nearby stalls, gaze comming to rest of the platnium blonde with a mild frown.

The various people aren't the only ones looking at the half-elf. The rangy-looking oruch mutters something to an arvek standing next to him, and they fistbump. Meanwhile, the half-elf is evidently working on wheedling the merchant. "My good sir, I understand your concerns. But my name is well known here in the city -- I will happily sign an invoice and arrange for payment later at your convenience." He places his hand over his heart. "After all, I am Telamon Lupecyll-Atlon, and my word is pure platinum."

A large brown egalrin is more out of space in a district mostly occupied by goblins. Reithak had to lean down into several of the stalls, browsing textiles and dyes and various other tailoring supplies. They do spy Slixvah, and the witch gets a wave before they jog over. "Heya Slix! What's got you down here?" They wonder, taking another look around. "Simony's there, want to go say hi? Unless you ended up coming here with her."

GAME: Slixvah rolls alertness: aliased to perception+2: (7)+15+2: 24

GAME: Reithak rolls perception: (18)+13: 31

GAME: Mikilos rolls perception: (12)+29: 41

GAME: Simony rolls perception: (5)+14: 19

Mikilos snorts at the self-introduction. "I've heard otyugh opera with more purity. If you havn't the cash, just come back later." Though his focus remains on the half-elf, the wizard's gaze keeps flicking towards the oruch and his arvek companion.

The Goblin frowns at 'Telamon', and looks to the Goblin merchant. "Telamon is a wealthy man, as is his wife. This person...", she says with a gesture to the platinum blond in front of her, "Is not him. He certainly would not ask for credit from a merchant, he'd hand you coin and be on his way immediately, if he thought your price fair."

Her gaze goes up to the Half-Elf, and her frown intensifies. "You should leave the city."

Slixvah spies a handful of people she recognizes, her giving them a little wave from the hip and a wink. Reithak gets a welcoming whistle as she reaches out. "Heya girlie! Jus' shoppin'!" A glance at the development. "I see 'er, but somethin' else is brewin', lezz get closer."

The witch draws near, curious. "Heya /Telly/," she stresses, grinning. "Wha's crackin'?" A glance to Simony, and her grin gets wider.

A little ethereal string is twirled on her finger idly.

"Always something brewing in goblintown, unless you're not talking about the potions." Reithak chuckles, leaning over, and squinting just a bit. "Yeah, let's go."

The large egalrin pats Slixvah on the shoulder and wanders over, resting one hand on the stall. "Good to see you in good health Telamon! I wasn't expecting to see you up and about so quick, guess you can recover real quick with magical healing, huh? You help at all with that?" She muses, glancing back to Slixvah before giving Simony a wave.

The half-elf turns around in confusion, looking at Simony and Slixvah. This close, yeah, this is definitely not Telamon. This fellow's a bit taller, slightly wider in the shoulders. That doesn't stop him from speaking. "Now, look, I -assure- you, I can make good on this debt. I don't know where you come from, but this is terribly rude. I am--"

The rangy oruch has approached, and is now standing near, as he growls, "--about to dig yourself a very deep hole." The oruch's expression is -profoundly- disapproving, as 'Telamon' turns to face him. "-Excuse me-," the 'half-elf' says. "But who are you?"

The oruch makes a curious gesture. Like he's whipping off a cloak, or parting a curtain. And suddenly the oruch's not there any more. It's... yep. Telamon. And his expression speaks -volumes-. There's a bit of mob movement as suddenly all the onlookers are a prudent fifteen feet from the imposter, who has turned so white he could be mistaken for a ghost. At least two gobbers are collecting bets.

Mikilos nods politely to the 'second' Telamon, steping to block the more obvious escape route of the first. "Now you are correct, the name Lupecyll-Alton IS well known. So is the face and manerisms."

Slixvah leans against Reithak, humming quietly to herself happily as she watches this mess unfold. But her eyes widen as the true Telamon reveals himself! "Ohhhh hell yeah, dis gon be good...~!"

She steps back, pulling the back on the string, cutting it with a talon, and quietly tying it haphazardly back together and letting it go.

Where's that popcorn stall? Aha!

A chilly breeze doesn't stop Dolan tonight from taking one of his longer walks around the city, and he ambles now into the area, and stops short, frowning at the commotion. "Now what's this all about?" He stops short, surveying the situation with a keen eye, reviewing the faces involved.

There's one he recognizes at first glance and he starts three steps towards the throng to break it up. Then he gets a little closer, and _stares_. "That ain't you, is it, Tel?" he calls over the heads of those present, the flesh-and-blood eye narrowing at the man in the fancy hat.

The Goblin remains defiant, though she offers Reithak a little wave, and a quick glance to Slixvah and Dolan.

"I'm about to get more rude if you do not desist in pretending to be Telamon. You're too tall, and you have no idea how Telamon behaves in any sort of situation. I've your name, by the way, and not just Telamon will be told, I'll take it right to Cor'lana. They will hand you your ass." Her hand goes to the warhammer at her hip. "And so, I suggest that you lea..."

She blinks then, and stares at the Oruch as he changes into the very familiar Telamon. "Telamon!" She gestures to the faux Telamon in the silly hat. "It's whats-'is-face!"

"I bet this isn't the first time Telamon here has been asking for credit around town." Reithak hums to herself, tapping one foot expectantly. "Now, I don't know if this is bad enough all the winds gotta know about this screw up, but, it's bad form to impersonate someone and smear their reputation, you know?"

"Well, got anything to say for yourself? If you've made any other credit claims on Telamon here's behalf, it's only fair you pay up to make sure they're honored, right? Since you should have a vast amount of wealth, or something like that you know?"

"No, it's not." Telamon's voice is calm, even, and patient. "I know what you're thinking, Simony, but he'd have a much more convincing disguise. Trust me." At Dolan's call, he offers the man a smile. "Sadly no. How's Andie and the cats?" His starry gaze fixes on the imposter, who seems frozen in place.

Deliberately, Telamon walks up to him, and reaches up to inspect the man's shirt. "Huh. Treated linen -- looks like silk, but isn't. Theater District, I bet." He gives the man's hat a tap, knocking it off his head -- and the platinum locks go with it, the wig attached, revealing the man's close-cropped dark hair. Tel's eyebrows go up. "Hm. Clever."

Telamon's eyes go back to his 'off brand' doppleganger. "Right now, sir, you are the luckiest person in Alexandria. Do you know why?" The imposter shakes his head, knees shaking. Telamon continues, "Because my wife wasn't the one to catch you."

Mikilos nods in sage agreement. "Fey enchantress can be very vicious when they want to be. And impersonation of a loved one is quite the motivation. Me, I'd just turn you into a frog to think about what you did."

"Oh, he's not?" As the disguise comes apart under heavy scrutiny, the Goblin pulls her warhammer free from the loop on her belt. "Want me to work over his knees, Telamon? Want him to know why my hammer is called Masher?" Her grin goes from beatific to predatory in the blink of an eye.

"'Cos she'd have just disintegrated you without a second thought. Me? Well, I'll only deliver a severe beating." Her hammer is slipped back into its loop, and she punches her fist into her hand a few times.

"That's the truth," Dolan snorts, shouldering his way closer to the crowd at hand. "Last time someone messed with Tel, I watched her turn him into so much dust and not bother to collect the ashes," he growls. "Brightest of days, Tel. Who's this smartarse, and what in all nineteen Iron Hells are you doing all the way down here?" He grins and raises a hand at those he knows.

Then, he directs his attention to the impostor. "And give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the Watch and have you spend a night or two in the cells, yeah?" The full weight of the inquisitor's stare gets bent on the man.

Slixvah gives a little wave to Dolan as he approaches, her watching the imposter getting a proper dressing down. Oh yeah. "ReiRei's right, I bet he's tried ta credit otha places too!" she calls out. A mage hand gets deployed, copper exchanged, and now she has a bag of popcorn. It's offered to those nearby.

"No clue, but if Telamon was waiting around to catch him in the act, then there's a good chance that he was up to something before." Reithak laughs. "Did you make that wig yourself, or did you nick it from somewhere?" The large egalrin ponders, tapping one side of their beak. "If you made it, you're wasting your talents trying to impersonate someone. If you really want to make money from the nobility, selling them things they want is probably a better way, and less likely to get your kneecaps broken by goblins."

The imposter looks like he wants to flee, but there's really no where to go. And then he hears 'disintegrated' and his eyeballs roll up in his head. Telamon grabs him before he crashes down in a heap. "Really? You two had to mention that?" But he's laughing a bit, as he lowers the man to the cobbles.

"To answer the question Dolan posed, I come down here occasionally for alchemical supplies and the occasional oddity. Targlen, my friend here," he points to the arvek, who politely waves, "mentioned someone was wandering around using my name. So I slapped on a disguise, and kept an eye out."

He grins at Mikilos, but shakes his head. "Gently, Archmage. Remember, the city likes us to at least -try- to observe the rules here." He rubs a thumb along his cheek. "But I think -- Reithak, is it? Yes, I remember you. She has a point. We'll need to find out who, if anyone, he's conned."

He snorts. "Clearly, I need to spend a little more time out and about, get people to recognize me. But I'll bet he came out of the Theatre District -- probably got the idea from seeing my wife and I there at some point."

Mikilos tsks. "Turning people to frogs -is- gentle. That or banishing them to pocket dimension. -Not- gentle involves scorch marks. Anyway, I agree, most likely from the Theater District. Though somewhat doubt has conned anyone -successfully-; your name may be good, but cash is still better than credit."

The Goblin simply sighs as the man collapses. She steps over to him, and uses her fingertips to peel back the man's eyelids, and peers in his eyes. "Hmm, I suppose it would be cruel to douse him in water given the temperature." She lifts a hand to his cheek gently, and then hauls off with a noisy SLAP. "Wake up!", she demands, giving the imposter's shoulders a shaking. "You can't lay here on the ground, it's not safe in the cold."

Simony peers up at Slixvah, "Do you have anything in your bag of tricks for a gentle, or not so gentle, wake-up call?"

Eyeing Telamon, she cants her head slightly. "Would you like help in canvassing the markets, see if he's attempted to attain credit from other vendors? Erm, what does the vendor sell, that might allow use to narrow things down at first, assuming the uh... I use the term loosely here... what the gentleman was attempting to purchase."

Slix monches on popcorn, almost choking on it as the imposter passes out. "I can poke 'round see who they conned. Easy peasy. Gotta brush up on my Gobber anywho," she volunteers.

She winces from the slap. "... uh. Bit late for gentle, sugar," Slix says to Simony, eyeing the impact point. "Prolly shoulda asked me /before/ ya did that!"

Dolan crosses his arms as the man's eyes roll up in his head and he blacks out, but he seems to be unmoved by the display of drama. "Serves him right," he mutters, making no attempt to rescue him.

Instead, he turns away and turns his whole face towards Telamon. "That so? To answer your question, they're all doing well. Andie's at temple tonight, so I thought I'd take a walk. I should come down here more often. See the damndest things." A cheeky grin crosses the mobile half of his face as he watches Simony and Slixvah. "Brightest of days, you two, and if you thought a gobber'd be gentle, you're sadly mistaken."

"And, he's out. Shouldn't be too surprised." The large egalrin snorts, reaching for a handful of popcorn and popping it into their beak. "You did lay it on a little thick."

"Well, either he tells us, or we go looking, but that's got troubles, too." Reithak considers, shaking her head. "This guy was impersonating Telamon hoping to take advantage of his wealth after all, who's to say some merchants wouldn't claim to be an aggrieved party to try and take advantage of that, as well?"

At Simony's slap, the imposter rouses again with a yelp. "AAAAH! Please! Don't hurt me! I didn't... I didn't get anything yet! I'd only tried it today!" He cringes away from Dolan and Simony. "I was just trying to see if I could get some nicer clothes--"

Telamon sounds bemused. "In Goblintown? Well... he sure couldn't try this in Jovani's. He probably figured I wasn't as well known here. Hm." He reaches down and gets a fistful of the man's shirt, hauling him up into a seated position. "A man's word is a priceless thing, friend," he says in a cool, toneless voice. "His name, only slightly less. I don't like people borrowing my name when they've not earned it."

He looks thoughtful. "I think Slix and Simony have a good point. We'll probably need to make sure no one else was conned." He glances down at the imposter. "In the meantime... Dolan, I think this fellow needs some time to contemplate his sins."

"Brightest of days, Dolan. My apologies, I was focused on telling off this .. jerk. How have you been? And your lovely wife?" She peers at Slixvah and Dolan. "But... that was gentle. I didn't invoke any of my strength improving prayers. Mostly due to the fact that I think smacking his head /clean off/ is probably a disproportionate response to the situation."

Simony looks to Telamon. "If it had been you-know-who, I definitely would have tried. This sort of shit makes me angry." She slaps a hand over her mouth. "My apologies. But it is infuriating. Perhaps making an example of this one would be best, to discourage others from attempting the same."

The Gobbo lets out a slow breath, "Reithak and Slixvah, it's good to see you two again! How is little Banilex doing?"

Mikilos frowns thoughtfully, nodding to Reithak. "That is a possibility. Though the overlap of those willing to falsify such a claim, yet potentially offering credit in the first place, is thankfully low."

"Brightest of days, Dolan!" Slixvah chirps brightly. "Oh heck no, not at all! Only thing 'bout gobbers and gentle is they share a letter!"

Popcorn held out for Reithak, she bobs her head along. "Yuh. Don' worr' 'bout it! I thinks we got enough silver tongues here ta get it smoothed over quick." She chuckles at Simony. "Leave th' head blowing up ta th' Watch an' holy men. Baby Bani's doin' great! Little bit at a time, wing's getting stronger!"

Nicer clothes? She sighs, shaking her head. "Woulda preferred ya jus' steal it than drag m'friend's name through the ground." She shakes her head, handing the popcorn off. "I'll get started smoothin' stuff!" Pulling her robe over her head, it obscures the witch with a gale wind, fabric fluttering about before her form grows smaller, smaller- and a green hued gobber with pink hair and floppy ears pops out! "I'll get ri' on it!" the gobbo declares before jogging off deeper into Goblintown.

"Right you are, Tel. I ain't got the power to arrest nobody, but I'll be back in a trice." Dolan turns away, but before he goes, flashes a grin at Simony. "Humans and gobbers have got two different scales of gentle, Simony." He raises a hand to wave to Slixvah as the feathered whirlwind greets and is out, then turns away in search of someone on the beat anywhere nearby.

"Well, there you go, just lucky chance and hopefully nobody actually got conned yet. But Simony, I think you need to tone back how you're feeling, at least a bit. Unless you've got reasons that you need to get off your chest another time. He is just a conman at best, thief at worst, would you treat him differently if not someone you knew personally?"

"Not saying they shouldn't be punished, but it should still remain proportional." The large egalrin shrugs. "Bani is doing good so far, like Slix says! I'm confident she'll make a good recovery, just a matter of time. And, ah , she's off. Later, cutie!" She waves to the goblin that is on their way out.

"There's a good argument there. No point in getting -too- rough." Telamon nods as Dolan heads off to find some Watch members, and Slixvah zips off to canvass the market. "And I'm sure this fellow will feel -much- safer in the hands of the City Watch than he would be here... with us. Right?"

The imposter stares at Telamon, and then nods frantically. "Yes! Yes!"

Telamon smiles easily. "See now Simony, everyone listens to reason eventually." He rubs his chin, his eyes falling on the sign of the original merchant. Tel chuckles. "'All others pay in cash.' That's good. I'll have to remember that one myself."

Mikilos nods. "Not that the Watch is perfect. But they generally do alright. And I've yet to hear of anyone who can crack reality when upset joining the Watch."

"Apparently so, Dolan, apparently so.", Simony says with a cheerful grin. She huffs at Reithak, and shakes her head. "No, I don't think I need to tone back at all. Impersonating a powerful person such as Telamon is a fool's game. Telamon is known as a good man, and unlikely to react too poorly, and not outside of the law." The Gobbo crosses her arms. "Not so much the people and monsters in life that may hold a grudge against Telamon. Who might come at Telamon with fury and magical firepower. Who might get innocents killed due to their greed in wanting to abuse a man's reputation and name."

She snorts and tilts her chin at the imposter. "A beating is a fair warning, in my mind." Simony pouts then. "No, I don't think I would feel differently if it was someone else who's powerful, wealthy, and potentially dangerous to impersonate."

Her grin returns and she offers a wave to Slixvah, giggling at her now-pink hair. "Good luck, Slixvah!" She side-eyes Mikilos, "Yet."

It takes Dolan only a few minutes to attract a burly Watchman, the sort that could be referred to as the brute squad all by himself. He leads the man back towards the group, and he turns a pair of beady eyes on the gathered group. "All right, what's goin' on here." He stares at each person in turn, trying to figure out what is going on.

Reithak stretches, only to exhale loudly. "If you say so, but I'm not seeing it. Violence should never be the first choice of action when it can be avoided. But I get your anger, to an extent." The large egalrin relents. "I should get going, I still need to pick up some new dyes."

Telamon glances at Simony, and makes a face at her pointed remarks about enemies. "You could've left that part out, Simony. I think he's rattled enough as is." Indeed, the imposter turns a slight shade of green at Simony's words.

When the watchman arrives, Tel straightens up. "Sir. Archmage Telamon Lupecyll-Atlon at your service. It has come to my attention that this fellow," he tilts his head at the imposter sitting on the ground, "is attempting fraud and impersonation, using my name and a somewhat questionable attempt at my countenance. There are witnesses, including yon merchant, and these companions of mine." He picks up the hat-with-wig. "As I understand the city prefers to handle these things officially, I would like to press charges so that he is encouraged not to do it again."

Simony offers Reithak a wave. "Aw, okay, see you around, ReiRei!", as the Egalrin makes to depart. As Dolan returns with a Watchman, she puts on a sweet and innocent face, as if she totally wasn't just offering to work a man's kneecaps over.

The Gobbo side-eyes Telamon. "Well, now he understands the stupidity of his actions. He /ought/ to be scared. That thing in the sewer made me properly scared of demons, and I count myself lucky you and Seldan were there.", she says in the squeaky language that is Goblin-talk. "He's getting off relatively easy, all things considered." <Goblin-talk>

Dolan merely stands back and listens, arms crossed, while the Watchman fixes the impostor with beady eyes. "That so," he drawls. "And jus' what are you accusing him of planning to do with it? What have the rest of you got to say?" He sounds skeptical, fixing each person present in turn. "I'll get to you in a minute. Who else saw him do this?"

Mikilos blinks at Telamon refereing to himself as an Archmage, but after a moment consideration just shrugs. 'I heard the imposter introduce himself as Telamon Lupecyll-Alton, requesting goods to be paid for later.' To Simony he shrugs again. "Getting arrested is pretty middle of the road between getting easy or hard. Assuming he stays in jail for the standard amount of time." <goblin-talk>

"I can affirm that this man here was attempting to copy Telamon's likeness and claim to be him for the purpose of avoiding payment for goods and services." Reithak offers, already turning to leave. "I'll come back to say something if you need, but I think you all have it under control for the most part."

The inquisitor waves one hand back, and continues down the street back into another area of the market.

The gobber merchant stalks forward, as does Targlen the arvek and a few other onlookers. They all give the same story: the imposter introduced himself as Telamon, and was seeking merchandise on credit. Telamon, for his part, glances at Simony and Mikilos and smiles faintly, before turning his attention back to the guardsman.

The imposter is looking around, but there's really no way to flee out of this before -someone- puts the arm on him -- mundane or magical. So he wisely sits still and mum as well.

Once everyone's said their piece, the brick of a man sighs. "That's a lot of people who say you're a fraud, hotshot. All right, I've heard enough. You're coming with me. The rest of you, scatter. You mind coming back to the watchhouse with us, Dolan lad? You too," he adds to Telamon.

"Sure, I'll give you a hand." Dolan steps forward to offer the impostor a hand up from the cobblestones. "Up with you. Just remember, the hells ain't got no fury like a fae wife."

The imposter is walked along -- firmly -- as Telamon and Dolan follow in the guardsman's wake. "We need to meet for something fun for a change, Dolan," Telamon comments. "Seems like it's always trouble. Why don't I come by next week, I'll bring some drinks and make dinner for you two. We've all been busy of late, seems like."

And life goes on in Goblintown, and in Alexandria. Thankfully with no explosions this time.