A Poultry Sum

Log Info

• Title: A Poultry Sum
• Emitter: Robert
• Characters: Lyme, Robert, Slixvah, Zofija
• Place: Colosseum District
• Time: March 16, 2022
• Summary: A gobber sells fried instectoid thighs from the back of a cart in the shadow of the Colosseum, catching the crowds as people leave a recent event. First Slixvah, then Robert are snared by her hawking. The two chat idly about the evening's activities and then Lyme arrives. Some of the gobber's wares may have a problem? She leaves in a hurry before investigations can be made! Zofija makes an appearance, selling her own foodstuffs. The Arvek Nar and Egalrin spend time chatting as the others disappear.

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-=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-<* A03: Colosseum District *>--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=-

The earth trembled where the Champion once trod. Legend by some states that His strength was so mighty that He naturally clove in two, creating the twin gods of Angoron and Kor. Other legends tell other tales, too, and the tour guides are quick to spin them, while at the same describing the history of the Colosseum, a tribute to both gods as well as the glorious and competitive spirit of all creatures and even Alexandria, Herself. 

The structure stands imposingly massive, a great stage crafted from a time when the oruch and khazad worked in tandem. It displays perfectly the contrasts and strengths of each culture in its carved stonework, from the oruch's tribal frenzy to the khazadi strength and solidarity. 

Vendors, shops, surround the arena, and turn this into a place of commerce. At any time, a number of Warriors, Heralds of Angoron or Kor may be seen, offering advice and the wisdom of the Twins. For all its serious, it is a place of laughter as well. Tarien's taverns and trickery makes its home here, and the too-proud warrior may quickly find him or herself on the opposite end of a banana peel or practical joke.

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It's pushing on into the later-evening and the roar of the colosseum district is starting to fade only to be replaced by the sounds of raucous revelry from the scattered Tarienite establishments. A thinning crowd moves away from the vomitoriums, chatting and gesturing in marvel of whatever contest they'd witnessed a short time ago. The vendors step into the roads and walkways from all around, looking to take advantage of the former-spectactors on their way to the rest of their night.

Smaller groups linger around the side entrances of the large amphitheatre in various states of donning and doffing armor. Far from the main event of the great arena, these folk are here for practice in the lower levels. There's boasting and taunting and good-natured jests between the men and women getting in their much-needed training before engaging in more serious business.

Near one of these side exits is a gobber with a cart. The little lady is yellow and spotted like an aging banana with her blue-black hair pulled up in a topknot and speared with a bejeweled copper pin. Her threadbare velvet jacket is open to reveal a low-cut top beneath and she shouts for all and sundry, "Eat'm before they eatcher swords! Rustmonster fried fillet-fingers! Battered and seasoned! Sate that post-sweat craving!"

A figure sails over the rooftops, only to corkscrew down into a jog on taloned feet. "Oh, heavens, a new record!" an Eglarin woman chirps gleefully, panting from the exertion. Gliding was easy, but it takes quite a lot to keep it up!

The white and rust feathered woman swoops her head around, taking in the place for the first time and rests her hands on her hips. Spotting the gobbo harking dense food, she makes her way on over. "Hey honey!" she greets, a bit winded, to the banana goblin. "How much for one thems?"

Chatting to one side of the cart, Robert is talking to a man half his age and nearly a foot shorter. The simple padded doublet the large Cerenzan wears is faded and patched enough that it might actually be older than the half-Sil and soaked through with sweat to the point of dripping. The older man's thin hair, too, is limp and plastered to his head as the pair say their good-byes. It was a good and friendly match and compliments are exchanged before the elf-blooded fighter saunters off.

Smiling, Robert lifts a hand to wave good-bye and then rests loose fists against hips. As soon as the half-Sil is around the corner the human sighs 'buhhh', his shoulders slumping forward and his stomach relaxing to sag mildly over his belt buckle. Out comes a waterskin from his hip-sack and he squeezes a strong stream into his mouth, splashing his face as much as he drinks. "... when did they get so FAST!?" he wonders to no one.

The gobber flashes pearly-whites between painted-blue lips, reaching into her steaming pot and plucking out an insectoid thigh the length of her forearm speared through with a stick. "A steal at a measly FIVE copper pieces thanks to the particular fecundity is this particular pest!" She stabs out her other hand, palm-up, and curls her fingers in a gimme-gimme gesture.

"AND I'll throw in a cup of perfectly potable water for no charge if you're thirsty!"

Slix rests her hands on her hips as she leans forward slightly. "Now honey, that's not a measly five copper, that's half a day's wage on the dock. /But/ that cup makes it right as rain!"

She rifles around one of the many pouches on her and pulls out the coinage, her waiting for a beat for the impatient gobber to settle before she hand over five shiny copper coinage.

The Eglarin takes the stick of insectoid and winks at her. "Thanks hon, gimmie that water and I'll be on my merry little way."

She glances over to the human hydrating himself, her tilting her head to the side curiously.

The smile grows just a fraction wider as she snatches back the coins and drops them into a pouch on the front of her shiny-blue belt; some kind of reptile leather. There's a jangle as she picks up tin cup, then a squeaking chitter of hedge magic incantations in Goblin-Talk to clean the communal item. The chain attached to the cup rattles again and she scoops it through a waterbucket, holding it over after. "Free refills because you're a polite birdy, too!"

Cup and kebab delivered, she skips around her cart to stare up at the Cerenzan. She's careful to hang back out of the splash zone and then clears her throat. "Hungry, buddy? Got the perfect post-workout poultry!?" She coughs into her hand (not really chicken) and then smiles wide.

Lowering the waterskin, Robert turns to look left and right before glancing down. He wipes the worst of the water away and then pushes his fingers back through his thinning hair. His stomach announces that it could definitely go for a bite.

"Twist my arm." Grins the man, corking the waterskin and dropping it back into his ditty bag. "Oh, hello there!" He offers to Slixvah, noticing her near the food cart, too.

"Oh, you're too kind," Slixvah coos, taking her new cup in hand. "Thanks for cleaning it, sugar."

Knocking back some of the water into the side of her beak (she's yet to find a Eglarin friendly cup /anywhere/), she wipes the side of her face off with a sleeve and chirps back to the tall human, "Well hey there yourself, hon." Instead of a full hand waving back, one of the many ribbon covered wings gives a wave to him in its place. "What's crackin'?"

"My back," Robert grins, putting a hand under the back of his padded coat and wincing dramatically. "Excuse me," he requests, leaning over the gobber's pot and looking inside.

"Best bites in the whole district! A measly FIVE copper and it'll fill you right up," the gobber woman is offering another steaming rustmonster thigh, her other hand next to it awaiting payment. When the Cerenzan seems to think on it she does the gimme-gimme gesture again. "It's getting cold, buddy!"

"... five copper, huh?" Robert wonders, reaching into the hipsack and fishing around. "Not exactly a... POULTRY sum," he grins at his own joke, looking between goblin and egalrin for approval as he pays. "Thanks you, kindly."

Lyme comes out of the practice area, hair sweaty and large canvas bag slung over his shoulder. His head turns and stomach rumbles audibly -- must have been a good workout!

Slixvah laughs at the joke good heartedly, her shaking her head. She affords a moment to scarf down the insectoid thigh while she's left to herself, but she almost chokes on the last bit as she tries to not laugh, and failing to do so.

"You're full of those, aren't ya?" she notes, getting her beak and face fixed up right and proper. "Though, real talk, if you're back is a smartin', got a good ol' massage at the TarRaCe down yonder. It's like magic for your soul. And muscles."

Her attention shifts to the Oruch stepping out of the practice area, her tilting her head to the side briefly.

"RUSTmonster fried fillet-FING'geeeeeers!" The gobber calls, the money already gone as she cups one hand to her mouth. She whistles for Lyme and waves him over. "Just FIIIIIIIVE copper! Avenge that lost breastplate!" She suggests, puffing out her chest and shaking her shoulders. Her coin purse jingles.

"I do!" Robert promises Slixvah with a grin, adding "With age comes wisdom."

Then the big fella stops to listening to the gobber and looks deadpan at the egalrin, holding up his rustmonster kebab and dragging his fingers along some of the thicker remaining setae along the thigh. "So you're telling me this isn't chicken?" He does a bad job of feigning surprise before he takes a bit.

"... a massage sounds wonderful. Practice was swell... but I could stand for the swelling to go down," he chews thoughtfully.

Lyme looks up, and huhs. "Whatcha got on? Rust monster?" A pause. "Sure." He starts digging for coins.

Slix chirps gleefully, "Sure does, big guy!" A glance is spared to the gobbo harking her wares, and she chuckles, pulling her attention away. "Oh absolutely not," she laughs, biting down the last of the meal and tossing the stick into a wastebin near the cart.

She looks him over. "Get the snot smacked outta ya in the training spots?" she inquires to the human.

"Fried, battered, AND seasoned!" The gregarious gobber grins gleefully. She skips back over to her cart with Lyme in tow and uncovers the pot. She selects a skewer and has it half-out before she makes a choking sound and her eyes go wide, her hand freezing.

She looks left and right and lowers the stick back into the pot, plastering on a smile as she withdraws a different kebab. Her neck cranes this way and that as she inspects the foodstuff before pulling it out fully and holding it out to Lyme. "A measly five copper! Heh!"

"Gods, yes!" Robert tells Slixvah around a bite of monster. He swallows forcefully and shakes his head in good-natured exasperation. "Brawler forbid these kids go easy on their elders... But I need to knock the rust off-- Hey!" He holds up his meal and points a finger at it. Enjoying the coincidence.

"Want to get back into fighting shape.... or at least a shape that fits in the old armor. Did you know steel can shrink when it's stowed away? Damnedest thing. Oh!" He looks down at his hand, wipes it on his pants, and looks at it again before curling it into a fist. Too dirty to shake he realizes, sheepishly. "I'm Robert Iliffe, setting up a little armor smithy (so you know I'm telling the truth about shrinking armor). Call me Rob-- or Bob; just don't call me 'late for dinner.'" He grins.

Lyme looks down at the kebab. "So, whatcha got for me actually?" A pause. "What happened? Your pot rust?"

The colosseum district was a place that many people congregated in, and people were there for various things.

Including in this case, yet another food stall that was nearby, where an almost orange hobgoblin in an oversized apron was stationed with a large pot on the small stove attached. "You know, there's more to the world than just meat! You'd be surprised how full you can get from just vegetables, and you'd swear you're eating some! Just seven copper for a flatbread stuffed to the brim with em, and balls of beans fried to a golden brown and delicious crunch!"

"I'm not even sure why they thought this was a good place to set up." The hobgoblin grumbles to herself. "Trying to sell vegetables to the colosseum district is like trying to sell earplugs to a goblin Alchemist."

Slix glances to the gobber putting something back into the pot, her squinting a bit but slowly pulls her attention away to focus on her new conversation partner. Which, elicits a hearty snicker. "Oh you. I like you," she giggles, covering her beak with the back of her hand. "I've heard tales of the shrinkin' armor. Only heard when their owners never dawn it and instead arm themselves with their rear on a chair."

She catches handshake-turned-fistbump, and she reaches out to touch knuckles with the human. "Slixvah Unmesi, or just Slix will do, sugar. Pleasure to meet you Robby Bob," she coos.

Then, her attention is pulled back towards the stand once more. A pot full of rust? And her gaze is swinging back to a new harker. Man, post workout meal sales must be quite the trend here.

"Well, you didn't look like any of my kids but now I'm sure you're not one of them..." Robert responds, joining everyone in glancing at the gobber for a moment. "There's not an un-messy one in the lot of them."

The gobber, for her part, returns the looks, lowering her head into her shoulders as her smile takes a nervous turn. "Uh... heh!" She drops the leg she'd offered Lyme back in the pot and covers it up. Then tosses a lid atop her water bucket, too. She continues to face people and smile and she gropes around with her foot to kick away the blocks from the wheels of her cart. "So..." She glances down, knocking the last free.

"Just a little extra seasoning..!" She bends over, tapping around with her hands until she has the blocks that she tosses into the cart. "Maybe some... fungus? No problem! The cooking kills it!" She takes hold of the carts handles and starts to push it away, taking a downward slope for speed's sake. "Butifyougettheirresistableurgetostandonaroofindirectsunlightconsultacleric....!"

"Huh," Robert muses idly, watching her go. "Polish sales must be good here," he grunts, flicking some of the fried coating off the rustmonster leg. "... never a dull moment."

Lyme watches the gobber go in amusement, folding his arms across his chest. "That's too bad. I was hungry," he says wistfully.

Slixvah chuckles at Robert. "If that worked out somehow, I'd be right surprised, and would probably call a doctor or a priest if that happened."

She blinks at the fleeing gobbo, her tilting her head to the side and looking down at her half full cup of water. Slowly, she tips it out, dashing the water onto the cobblestone road before tucking the cup into one of her belts. "... probably should get some medicine for later..." she murmurs to herself. "No, never a dull moment."

She waves with a wing as her new acquaintance heads out, her shrugging to the oruch man. "Weird food's always a gamble, am I right? There's another one over there," she yaps towards him. <Yrch-Speak>

Hopefully to cleanse the palate, the eaglefolk ambles over to the new stall.

Lyme glances over, and nods to Slixvah. "Thank you," he replies in chipper, accent-free Common. "It's only weird if you haven't eaten it before, right?" He checks his shoulderbag to make sure it's still in the right place, before eyeing the vendor.

"Well uh, shoot. I guess that's a good thing." Zofija chuckles from behind her own stall, rubbing the back of her head. "Oh, hey! You didn't happen to have anything to do with that cart leaving, did you? You didn't have to do that for me." The arvek-nar responds. "You never told me you spoke like an Oruch Slix, it's weird to hear that coming out of your beak."

"Ah, right! I'm running a business here, a very small, mobile, and guaranteed delicious one." She speaks up after realizing what was happening. "Can I get a wrap for any of you? Cooked fresh to order in a matter of minutes, and I promise you'll like it! Well, I can't promise, but it's a good chance at least."

Slix blinks owlishly (something she's quite good at considering-) at the Nar behind the stall. "... Zofi?" she tries. "Well- uh- yes! We did! Kind of ran herself out though, bad food practices and what not."

She chirps once, and a smile reaches her eyes. "I have approximate knowledge of many things, muscles. Maybe get to know me better and I'll show you a thing or two." A wink is thrown their way before she rubs her beak. "Yes, please. Anything really, something to catch that bug I just ate."

"Well, always time to get to know you better." The Arvek-nar nods. "That's a shame, some of that stuff looked good, I was hoping to try some of that when I finished. Not that I think the food here is bad, just curious." She quickly backpedals, taking some of the mix and dropping it into the pot of now sizzling oil after removing the lid. "This'll cleanse your palate, I'll add extra sauce to help with it. And you there, Oruch? Can I get anything for you while I'm at it?"

Slix snaps a finger gun towards the chef Nar. "Sounds like a plan to me, shug."

She shakes her head. "Gonna be real honest, it tasted fine, but I'm gonna have to get me something from an alchemist for later, else... well, it won't be pretty."

She glances to the oruch as he wanders off, and she shrugs. "Guess he wasn't that hungry."

She leans in, resting on her elbows on the food stall. "So... when did you start doin' all this, hon? Did you cook breakfast for the lass too?" she teases.

"Guess not." Zofi shrugs. "Well, there's plenty of physicians around the colosseum district, if you can imagine that. And I think you already know about the soldier's defense."

"As for what I'm doing here? Owner is off, and needed someone to run the stall for a few evenings. I figured why not? There was a listing at the explorer's guild, so I figured, why not?"

"And of course I do, I mean uh, rations get boring in the military, you know? Helps keep spirits up." She chuckles, drifting to something else so quickly it was barely noticeable. "And well, wouldn't you like to know. I'm not gonna run off in the morning without even saying goodbye, and I can make a good breakfast in all sorts of ways."

"Mhmm, already know 'bout that place. They fixed my wing up all nice and well," Slix hums. Though, she scratches the underside of her beak. "Huh. I mean, yeah! That's a good way to learn stuff."

The notion gets a little mischief in the fortune teller's eyes. "Makes sense. A good meal heals the soul."

Then, she puts a hand to her chest. "Wouldn't /I/ like to know? Honey, if I wasn't your wingwoman, I'd be wondering if /you/ were trying to sweep me off my feet~"

Slix smooths her crown feathers back, and winks. "Just teasing, hon," she clarifies playfully.

"Yeah, learn something new, make some coin, it's a pretty good thing." The Arvek-nar grins. "And hey, new recipes means new things to cook for people when I need to."

Zofija pauses, and chuckles, taking a spoon to flip over the balls in the pot as she continued. "Hey, I'm just saying you're the one asking about what was going on is all. And it wouldn't be hard to sweep you off your feet, what with how light you are and you asking me to carry you a few times."

Slix gives a crisp thumbs up. "Doesn't sound like a bad idea for myself to go and try. Who knows, maybe our spots here well be swapped around?"

She eyes the food before her attention snaps to the Nar. "Hey!" The bird woman points a finger at Zofi, half scolding, half laughing. "You carrying me around was /your/ idea, muscles! And it's such a good idea, I'll endorse it!"

Zofia stops and moves to chopping up the toppings quickly and effortlessly, which she tucks into the flatbread split in half. "Would be interesting, yeah. And I offered it, but you're the one who asked about it again. I don't blame you for endorsing it anyways." She continues with a chuckle, that dies in her mouth. A large crowd was coming out of the colosseum now, and several of them looked over to where the stand was.

And now a not insignificant group was veering off in her direction.

"Shit, guess that guy knew what he was doing here when he told me to set up in this spot." The hobgoblin curses. "I gotta act more professional now I think. It was nice chatting though Slix, and you're welcome to stay and eat." She says, shaking off the now crisp fritters and tossing them into the wrap with a drizzle of sauce. "Hope you like it." <Yrch-Speak>

Slix snickers. "I wouldn't blame me either. I mean with-" She stops talking for a moment, beak closing slowly before she laughs and shakes her head. "Sorry shug, I was about to lay it on ya real thick, and I'm just teasing 'round. For real though. Next time I see you, you better be ready to carry! Drunk or not!"

The bird woman turns her attention towards the Colosseum, and she steps out of the way as she scoops up her delicious looking meal. She switches tongues, speaking with a passable accent, the beak made it really easy to do all the sharp sounds, "Thanks for having me, muscles. I'll hang around for a minute, but I'll need to get going to find something for this hellstorm of a stomach ache I'm going to get." <Yrch-speak>

She winks, takes a big chomp, then coos, "I do. Thanks sugar."

She stands off to the side, working through her proper meal as she chats with her friend.

"Sure, sure." Zofi grunts, before the large crowd of people comes over to the stall. "Alright, alright, form an orderly line, I can only process four orders at once." The Arvek-nar shouts over the crowd. "7 copper per sandwich, and an additional 2 copper for extra fritters in yours."

It did look like she wanted to chat with the egalrin more, but with how many people were there, she didn't have any moment to spare.

Slix chomps her meal down as there wasn't much talking before she tosses the remains away, steps behind the stall to slap Zofi on the back, and gives her a wink. "See ya later, muscles."

And she struts off in that 'damn-I'm-awesome' kind of way, only to have that ruined as she starts to rush towards the closest physician.