Home for Monsters (Part 6)

There's a moment of hesitation before suddenly the lights come on, blinding you for a second, and then revealing a bull-headed (literally) man in an apron. "Oh my! Better homes and dungeons? Come in then! Come in. Join me for dinner." The minotaur motions toward a little table in the middle of the room. There's not really enough room for all of you, but the minotaur doesn't seem to notice or care.

Heinrich shrugs and says, "Well, since you invited us so kindly. Do you fancy yourself a gourmet, sir?"

Walery smiles, comes in, but doesn't come up and join for dinner quite yet. "Thank you," he says to the invitation, though, and he asks, "A couple questions from our readers: can you tell us your name and age?"

Niara is wary. She moves with the others though remains silent for now.

Olav continues to stand by the door, letting the smaller adventurers sit. Also, given their introduction, he's not entirely on board with eating the minotaur's dinner. That said, he's REALLY curious about the creature's diet, and curiosity overcomes prudence: "Also: do you eat meat?"

The minotaur smiles at you and motions toward the table again, digging around in a cupboard for food. It doesn't seem terribly cautious of you. "I am Edward, and I wouldn't say I am a gourmet. It's difficult to get any good ingredients down here. The cupboard can only do so much after all." Out comes a block of cheese and then a long round of sausage. "Of course I eat meat. Minotaurs are omnivores like humans." It seems by the minotaur's body language that you've insulted him.

Heinrich puts on his chivalric social graces and says, "Well met, Edward. So, are you the master of this home, or that wizard we ran into along our way? His laboratory or study was quite well stocked, it seemed."

Walery grumbles at the wizard, and says, "Yes, he wasn't very polite to us. Mister Edward, your place is very nice. Your cupboard? Is it some magically stocked cupboard, or do you need to replenish supplies from time to time?"

Niara nods and moves to the table listening to everything being said.

Olav rummages through his bag and pulls out an orange, which he adds to the minotaur's collection of food.

The minotaur snuffs at Olav and nods in thanks. "Wizard? I haven't been out of this room in some time." He pats the cupboard on his way to the table to lay out the spread of food. "The cupboard doesn't have a great selection of food, but yes it is magical providing me what I need to survive off of." He pulls out a big knife and starts chopping the meat into thin slices. "Speaking of food... I have to say that you... smell delicious."

The minotaur grins at Olav.

GAME: Niara rolls intimidate: (18)+11: 29
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+5: (13)+5: 18

Niara whips her scimitar out, the words flowing from her lips that make it crackle with lightning. She launches into an intimidating dazzling display of prowess. "I think you might find us more than you can chew."

GAME: Walery activates his Titan Armor, gaining: +4 Dex
GAME: Walery rolls 1d20+10: (20)+10: 30
GAME: Walery rolls 1d20+10: (7)+10: 17
GAME: Walery rolls 4d6+10: (17)+10: 27
GAME: Heinrich rolls Falchion: aliased to Weapon1: (9)+8: 17
GAME: Heinrich rolls FalchionDmg: aliased to 2d4+4: (8)+4: 12

Walery was, truth be told, kind of expecting this to go downhill, and he's ready to drop his line of questioning and pick up his death ray. A touch to a switch on his belt activates his Titan Armor, and a firing lens with crosshairs slides down from his helmet. He shoulders his death ray, flipping the selector, chambers a magical shell, and fires. A gout of fire sears into the minotaur, hurting him pretty good. "We're sorry you feel that way," he says as he waits for the weapon to cool, cycling out the spent magic source.

Heinrich shakes his head, but says, "I hate to do the butchering before the beef is fully cooked, but a strategic slice may help to get the beef well-done without over cooking." He slashes two-handed and scores a cut.

GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+9: (15)+9: 24
GAME: Aftershock rolls 1d20+4: (3)+4: 7
GAME: Aftershock rolls 3d6+6: (10)+6: 16

"I offer a complement and you attack me in my home?" The bull-headed man moos angrily and pulls an axe out from under the table. He swings it at Olav, cutting deeply into the man. The axe swings back around a second time, missing but spraying Olav with blood.

GAME: Olav rolls 1d20+2 bab + 3 str + 1 mwk + 1 wf - 1 pa: (1)+2 bab+3 str+1 mwk+1 wf+- 1 pa: 9 (EPIC FAIL)

Olav is surprised as things suddenly get violent, and consequently a bit slow getting off the mark. He's not exactly sure why they're fighting all of a sudden, honestly, but after Ed slices him open with his axe he's not especially interested in talking about it, either. He roars and returns a swing with Theseus at the minotaur, but slips on the puddle of blood he's dropped on the floor and comes nowhere near it.

GAME: Hetzakoatl casts Hydraulic Push. Caster Level: 3 DC: 15
GAME: Hetzakoatl rolls 1d20+3+4: (7)+3+4: 14
GAME: Niara rolls acrobatics: (5)+13: 18
GAME: Niara rolls scimitar+2: aliased to bab+dexterity+1+1+1+2: (11)+5+5+1+1+1+2: 26

Hetzakoatl's eye widen at the axe wound Olav takes, and she extends a hand from which a gout of water spews forth, but only manages to dampen its chest fur.

GAME: Niara spends ONE point of PANACHE.
GAME: Niara rolls scdam+10: aliased to 1d6+dexterity+2+1d6+10: (5)+5+2+(6)+10: 28

Niara jumps up on the table and uses it to vault over the Minotaur in a flip. Even as she lands she whips scimitar at his back. The crackling blade cuts deep dropping the creature.

Olav reclaims his orange.

Walery shoulders his death ray, looks down at the monster. "I suppose it was inevitable. He seemed nice, apart from wanting to eat us."

"Did he?" Olav asks curiously, wiping the orange clean of his and Ed's blood, which has sprayed all over the table, before pocketing it.

Heinrich walks around to the downed creature, and picks up his axe. He looks it over, then swings it down in a slash to decapitate the bull-man like an executioner.

Walery will check out the magic cupboard. "This sounded interesting. It's a wonder more dungeons don't have them..."

Hetzakoatl looks to Olav and Niara. "Are you two alright? You have been wounded." She eyes Olav's shoulder wound. "Tch, you are lucky your arm is still attached."

Olav shrugs. With the uninjured shoulder. "Shouldn't have left my spare arm at home."

Niara stretches. "The wounds are from before but never turn down assistance." she says and cleans her blade as best she can.

GAME: Walery casts Cure Moderate Wounds. Caster Level: 5 DC: 16
GAME: Walery rolls 2d8+5: (12)+5: 17

Walery eyes Olav and says, "Here, hang on a sec," and pulls an ampule from a belt pouch. He presses it to Olav's injury, and there's a sort of hissing sound. The red liquid in the ampule drains out, and Olav looks a whole lot better.

Heinrich leaves the axe on the carcase of the beast. He looks at Walery and says, "I think we're all glad you came along. Now, where to next? We still have a wizard to deal with, plus whatever else may be in this place."

Olav fusses a bit as Walery treats his wound, but seems clearly appreciative just the same.

Olav searches Ed's bloody corpse, mostly looking for keys, but also anything else interesting.

"Don't minotaurss come with a maze?", the white-scaled sith wonders aloud. "At leasst it wass just one."

Heinrich answers the sith'makar, "I'd say rather that they are frequently found in them, but the association isn't, I believe, strictly necessary."

"It would be pretty impractical carrying one around," Olav muses. "Besides, he said he didn't leave this room much." He scratches his head and adds "I don't understand southern dungeons."

Niara looks at the others, "Shall we?" she moves towards the next door.

There's no sign of keys on the minotaur - one did not even want to imagine where the creature might hide them considering the clothless nature of such creatures. Still there are no keys to be found. Only a door standing there as doors tend to do.

Heinrich tries the handle.

Walery says to Hetz, "I'm pretty sure they're solitary. They're not herd animals, I think they have to be individually cursed by some god to become a minotaur. Otherwise you'd have whole families. As far as mazes, this place confuses me, so maybe it's mazey enough?" But he'll follow along.

Olav shrugs and follows the gang towards the door.

Heinrich suffers a light shock from the door not unlike those trick toys that children use. Only a little bit stronger than that.

"Are they different from dungeonss where are from, then?", Hetzakoatl asks of Olav, before she nods to Heinrich. "I supposse they don't not necessarily require each other, but they are associated with each other in many legends and stories."

"Any reason not to just chop down the door?" Olav asks, indicating his greataxe. "And, yeah... back in the Emereth, we didn't find many living people in the ruins. Mostly undead and wild animals."

Heinrich recoils his gauntleted hand from the handle and says, "Eeyouch! That was, uh, shocking." At Olav's suggestion, he says, "I was about to suggest the same thing."

Hetzakoatl nods to the others and gestures to the minotaur's axe. "At leasst he was kind enough to leave us a way in."

Heinrich picks up the axe and swings it with both hands right at the door.

GAME: Heinrich rolls 1d12+4: (9)+4: 13
GAME: Olav rolls 1d12+3 str+2 pa + 1 2handstr + 1 2handpa: (2)+3 str+2 pa+1 2handstr+1 2handpa: 9

The two axes hit the door and cut deep swaths in the wood, but the stubborn door remains intact.

Heinrich says, "Ay! Apparently it's not merely the handle that is electrified."

Olav grunts in pain as the door shocks him. "Hrm. Hold on... let me try something."

Olav walks over to Ed's body and attempts to lift it off the ground. If he can, he charges the door, putting his shoulder to it and trying to use the minotaur's body as a shield against the sparks.

Walery hrmps. "I've heard of battering rams, but battering minotaurs?"

GAME: Olav rolls strength: (1)+3: 4 (EPIC FAIL)

Hetzakoatl simply stares as the door both resists and conducts. She shakes her head at the use of the beast battering ram.

Heinrich smirks. He says, "Don't trip on the bloody floor, mate."

Niara hrms "It was dark when we entered. Maybe needs to be dark to leave."

Olav slips on the bloody floor again, slamming clumsily into the dead minotaur against the door. "Well, at least I didn't get shocked." He backs up, dragging the body with him, and gets ready to try again. By this point he is covered in blood, both his own and Ed's.

Heinrich raises the axe for another swipe...

GAME: Heinrich rolls 1d12+4: (10)+4: 14

The door shocks Heinrich one last time before the axe manages to sheer clean through it and open it up with a crashing swing. On the other side of the door is what looks like office space. There's a little desk with a man sitting behind it, and beside him an odd circle on the floor. It seems totally out of place in the middle of this dungeon. Particularly with him just sitting there while you bash his door in. He does have a momentary flicker of surprise on his face however. "Wherever did /you/ come from?" There's no sign of another door. In fact as you enter the room the door you came in through closes and repairs itself.

"Better Homes and Dungeons," Olav replies matter-of-factly, tossing the bloody minotaur corpse aside, ignoring the fact that he's covered in blood. "We're here to interview the owners of this place. Is that you?"

Hetzakoatl nods in response to Olav's statement, and moves in beside the man. "I musst say thiss has been the most exciting one sso far, on this loop."

Heinrich possibly reminds that hobgoblins are regarded as monsters in old tales as he literally growls at the self-healing door. He swings past the axe menacingly, and scowls.

Walery just follows and waits to see what the fellow has to say?

"What is Better Homes and... Dungeons?" He looks utterly confused and then he blanches at the sight of the minotaur, waving a hand which causes the thing to vanish. Not a word passes his lips, just the gesture of his hand as he rises to his feet. "And yes this is my tower, and I have to say I am very interested to learn how you came in through that door."

Niara just listens for now.

"We just axed it nicely," Olav replies, straight face.

Heinrich grins malevolently at Olav's joke, baring his fangs.

"You asked it nicely." The man seems again surprised but then he nods, clearly not getting the joke. "Yes I suppose that might do it. If you do not mind however, I have work to attend to - so can you see yourselves back out again?"

Walery ohs curiously at the door thing. "Is it a magic door? Are you aware it was in a dungeon when we came through? Had you expected it to be in another location?"

Olav shrugs. As he understands it, their job here is to check the dungeon out, and there's no place beyond this room as far as he can tell. So he looks around the room carefully and goes back to the door.

Hetzakoatl waits to see the response to Walery's inquiry.

The man brightens a little, even going so far as to smile at Walery. "Yes it is! I enchanted it myself. It goes practically anywhere so I suppose naturally it might exist somewhere at some time."

Walery ahhhs appreciatively. "You did? That's quite clever. Can you control where it goes, or is it random?" he wonders thoughtfully.

"That's the ingenious part of it, you simply think of where you want to go, and touch the door handle, open it up, and there you are!" He glances toward the rest of you. "Such as home perhaps?"

Olav pauses at the door. "That's is... pretty cool," he admits.

Walery eyes the door, then his fellow party members. "I suppose we must have been wondering who made this door or what was behind it when we came through," he says thoughtfully.

Heinrich's expression relaxes and he says, "So where is this room, then?"

Hetzakoatl also steps to the door, but pauses at Heinrich's question. "A very good quesstion. Alsso. Can it be moved? The door, I mean."

The man gestures expansively. "Why, this is my tower. Though I have no idea where you came from."

Her question gets a blink. "It's a door. It's quite attached to the wall." He turns his attention to Walery. "As to where my tower is... I would have to check." He turns his back on you and makes a wiping motion with his hand. The wall behind him clears until you see a vista of the world outside. It's impossible to tell where you are though there is a little tiny city - little more than a collection of shops with a wall around them really - nearby. "That's the city of Alexandria. So we must be near there at the moment."

He turns back toward you. "I really have to ask you though, can you not tell anyone about my tower? It's very much still being built."

Heinrich says, perhaps a trifle less than seriously, "Do you mean you don't wish to be entered in the prize drawing?"

The sith stares... "When are we?"

Olav looks at the sith confusedly.

Niara blinks as well. "That is Alexandria?" she looks again at what was called Alexandria. The tiny city is far from being what she remembers when they left.

Walery ohs about not telling about the tower. "Curious," he says, and nods about the prize drawing. "I see. Well, I suppose we should be off, then." He's not inclined to fight this wizard, who seems nice enough. "Look out for the other wizard, who was in the place we came from. He was a bad sort."

Which is when the man casually mentions a date something a little more than a thousand years old, as if humoring Hetzakoatl. Then turns his attention to Heinrich. "I really do not." Blue eyes flicker toward Niara and he huffs a little. "Yes. It is. I've been here many times."

Hetzakoatl stares at the man. "That is one thoussand years in the passsst, sssir.", she says, her voice strained, as if her throat had constricted. "If we wanted to ssee you, would your door also ... alsssooo... bring us into the passt?"

Hetzakoatl adds... "You wouldn't be Zeheir, by any chance?"

Olav has no idea what anyone is talking about, but that's not too unusual for him. He stands quietly by the door and waits for folks to finish.

The man bows. "You guess my name though I know not yours. Are you from the wizards guild? Is Better Homes and Dungeons some new prank they've come up with? Dump a corpse on my floor!" He laughs. "The tower moves through space not /time/." Blue eyes flicker to the strange symbol beside him on the floor and he seems to consider something. "Now I insist you be on your way, I have a lot of work to do."

Heinrich drops the axe, then realizes that the handle smacked his shin and says, "Ow." He says, "For my part, then, I will beg you to excuse me." He heads to the door, says, "Most frustrating of magical doors, please give me passage to the boudoir of Madame Heather's House of Escorts, City of Alexandria, let's say 9 o'clock p.m. on Tariday, Quintoos 20, one thousand years in the future."

Walery says thoughtfully, "I'm sorry for taking up your time, We're a bit confused, ourselves. We're from a place also called Alexandria, but our date is Quintoos 20th, 1020. Your date was some time ago, so you seem to have incidentally achieved some chronological velocity as well."

"You have been dead ssome time, in the time we come from. Alexandria is many times the ssize of that... walled town out there, when we come from." Hetzakoatl draws a ragged breath. "That door is how whomever it is has been accessing your golems. Your other towers. Or perhapss it is jusst one tower. In different timess." She gives her head a shake and leans upon her staff. "The Better Homes and Dungeons schtick is how we .. fasst talk our way passt denizens of dungeons. We'll go. But know this. Ssomeone is abusing your power. We know not, with certainty, how you die. It could be the persson who ussurps your power alsso causses your death. Be wary."

The white-scaled sith turns and begins to limp towards the door.

Heinrich opens the door and finds himself exactly where he wants to be. The door hangs open as if suggesting that everyone else should leave as well. Meanwhile the man - Zeheir listens to Hetzakoatl's grim words with confusion and then an edge of seriousness. "Fare thee well then." He waves to you as you pass out through the door which shuts behind you. It's suddenly clear that this is in fact the front door of Madame Heather's House of Escorts. A perfectly normal door which opens out onto the street.

Heinrich laughs, and says, "Well, at least we won't be stranded in the past or on the wrong plane of existence." Then he steps through.

Hetzakoatl rubs her face and looks around at the street. "Well. How is it said? SHIT!" She bangs her staff against the street. "We definitely need to report thiss. Thiss is important."

Olav follows everyone out, then looks around. "Huh. So... what was all that stuff about the past and the future and stuff?"

Heinrich looks up to see whether there might not be a hovering wizard's tower in the sky.

Niara shakes her head and lets out a sigh of relief. "Lets go get paid." she murmers "Shall we?" she looks at the others.

Hetzakoatl sniffs and nods. "Getting paid would be good. Informing them of what we found is alsso a good idea."

Heinrich says to Niara, "Now that's the wisest thing I've heard in a thousand years."

Olav nods. "Getting paid is good."

Walery nods, follows the others.

-End-