Repose in Two Forms
Log Info
- Title: Repose in Two Forms
- Emitter: Karasu
- Place: An inn in Alexandria
Living out of an inn is not the worst living that Karasu has ever known, but it is not exactly the most pleasant either. In the aftermath of the attack by the assassins in the garden, Karasu had exerted gentle pressure to convince Cor'ethil to return with him. They'd stopped by the kitchen to pick up a meal that Karasu observed the making of. He'd still insisted on trying each item of food and drink before allowing Cor'ethil to taste it though. His overabundance of caution doesn't inspire comfort. Worse, he doesn't open up about the cause of this caution immediately. Instead he eats his meal as if all of this is perfectly normal.
Corey has experienced some of this before--after all, considering their past, this is to be expected in some ways--but he still looks at Karasu with a small sense of unease as the other man samples everything. Even when Karasu moves on to the real eating and Corey partakes of his meal, the tension in Corey's form never wholly dissipates.
It's hard to focus on a meal when the mind is chewing on something else.
"You said you'd tell me when we were back," Corey says finally. "Who is Raiden?"
The food is disappearing more slowly than Karasu usually eats. A prolonging of the moment when talking will become a necessity. He's not truly surprised when Cor'ethil seems to recognize this tactic. He'd known that he could not evade this conversation forever. In fact he can feel Wuya's intelligent gaze on the back of his head from where the raven rests. He could lie (he can't), he could stall further (completely unwise), but of all the people in the world... He trusts Cor'ethil.
Trust. A word he had not known at all until meeting Wuya, and now there are two in his life whom he has trust in. Far more than he ever expected.
"My brother." The words are simple things, but Cor'ethil knows him too well. Can note the way he hesitates in his next bite. The way that he says the words with slight weight. Cor'ethil may or may not be able to distinguish the why, but their existence is there to be read.
Corey's silver eyes widen a little as Karasu says the two words. The young man (by sildanyari standards) turns his gaze upright onto Karasu and simply just studies him for a moment. He considers his next words carefully. This is the way conversation can sometimes flow between them--like the contemplation of a game of chess and the next move one makes.
"Your brother would... try to hurt you?" Cor'ethil frowns deeply. "For what reason?" He is aware that his nightingale never returns to the nest from where he hatched, but they've talked precious little of Karasu's family life. Simply that he has (had) a family and... He is not close to them like Cor'ethil is close to his mother, his father, and his sisters.
"My brother would do more than hurt me. He will kill me. Perhaps slowly if it suits him." It's an odd note, that Karasu seems to have no doubt nor fear that his brother will kill him.
Wuya makes a discomforted noise then, drawing attention to himself though he in fact doesn't do so often. "It does not need to be this way Karasu."
Karasu himself doesn't even look at Wuya, which makes the raven deflate a bit. "I killed our family. Aunts and uncles. Cousins. Finally our parents. They are all dead at my hand and by my doing. He has a right to his revenge against me."
Listening to Wuya's mimicked speech always draws Corey's eyes over onto the bird. The bird speaks in a way very similar to Karasu, so that is one factor, but it's also the fact Wuya only speaks in this fashion when it's just the three of them in a space that's safe and quiet. (For some definition of 'safe', anyway, given that Corey's just learned his beloved's brother is trying to kill him.)
His lips press together tightly for a moment. "I know you had a reason for killing them," he says gently. His eyes had fallen onto the food away from Wuya, but now they lift up to Karasu. "You don't kill unless you have a reason. An order or motivation." He knows that much of Karasu--or believes he does. "He doesn't know what it is, does he? Or does he know and... he believes it to be a lie?"
Unsaid is another question, but it burns in Corey's eyes nonetheless. He's so easy to read, unlike Karasu.
The Xian man sets his fork aside, his meal complete if not finished. He motions to Wuya to come and finish off the food and Wuya is eager enough to comply though the raven stills seems reluctant. Watching Karasu as if waiting for him to be reluctant to share his story. Karasu folds his arms over his chest. A familiar posture that Cor'ethil knows looks casual but puts Karasu's hands near the hilt's of hidden weapons... usually. "My family was planning to destroy many lives. I would not have betrayed them but my brother..."
Here he hesitates as if he doesn't truly understand the choice he made all those years ago. "For some reason I could not help but to think of the world that I would be creating for my brother. I did not want him to grow as I had. In the palm of assassins and bent to their mold. He was... far more gentle than I."
He looks then at Cor'ethil, almost a touch hopeful that this man who knows him better than any other will understand what he had done better than he himself. "Those that they meant to kill paid me for the work, but I did it for him. I should never have betrayed them, but I did. He has no idea what they were in truth. No one remains to tell him but me and I... I can not taint the few memories he has of them. I have been then a villain to push him through life and encourage him to be better than."
Karasu lowers his eyes then.
Corey watches Karasu's body language carefully, eyes observing the fact that Karasu's positioned like he might drawn hidden weapons--but he trusts that is not the case. He wouldn't dream of Karasu hurting him for any good reason. "You did what you thought was right," he says. "You love your brother... And you didn't want your family to participate in massacre. There's a difference between being a killer-for-hire and being someone who perpetuates in the mass slaughter of innocent lives."
He smiles gently. "I can't really fault you for doing what you did. You were trying to protect your sibling. Although I think... He should have known the truth about his family, it's understandable why you did. My sisters are fiercely protective of me. If... my family was doing such a thing..."
No. He can't contemplate that. Corey takes a breath and shakes his head. "Given that he's sending assassins after you... Do you believe it might be too late to parley with him? To tell him that there's more to the story than he knows? Do you think he'd even listen?"
Slowly Karasu shakes his head. "Why would he? I am not known for being overly generous with words or truth my kokoro. To say such things now would only be to encourage him to think me a coward atop all my other sins. He will assume that they are said because I have grown soft and wish to plead for my life."
Wuya eats a small morsel and looks up. "You do not know that he is sending them with certainty." The bird does sound rather like Karasu, but the speech is more halting and childlike in a way. Certainty is said almost carefully. Like a raven stripping the most choice piece of flesh away.
"Who else then Wuya? No one else has reason to seek my head. Certainly none with command of those who once I trained alongside." Karasu shakes his head again carefully.
Corey frowns at Karasu's words and the banter between Wuya and Karasu. Wuya makes an excellent point. He'd reward the bird with a scritch if Wuya was a bit closer. "Perhaps an advisor of some sort? Someone who has become closer to your brother and has something to gain by your death? Maybe a more distant relative?"
He looks thoughtful--a common expression that plays across his features, to the point where it's like his face was sculpted for this exact look of contemplation. "Was your family in a position of power?" he asks. "I'm still not sure of the political situation from where you're from." As they've discussed before, Corey has precious little understanding of Karasu's geopolitical origin. The libraries of Llyranost are wholly concerned with sildanyari interests and not much of humans--let alone humans from more obscure corners of the world (from the llyranesi perspective).
"It depends on what you mean by power. We were not nobles, not kings or princes of any kind. Yet we were the backbone of those who were. We enabled their rule and protected them in times of distress. Those who threatened those who we were aligned to did not live long lives and often died in manners which were pointed." Karasu offers his tentative smile here. "If you catch my meaning."
Wuya sidles a little closer to Cor'ethil. As if subtly offering himself up for petting, or merely to side with the man in his choices. It's hard to read a raven. "Cor'ethil could be right." He seems determined on this matter. Oddly so for the normal for the raven who usually defers to Karasu so readily.
Karasu frowns somewhat at the raven. "And who then? None knew of my betrayal save me and one other who died shortly after. He had no chance to tell any of what he knew and so it must be Raiden." Wuya ducks his little head again, looking mollified by the words, or perhaps depressed. "Raiden would not be keeping such secretive motions about himself if he were not planning his revenge in secret."
Here Karasu looks at Cor'ethil. "I have been keeping an eye on the area for word of him, but have heard nothing at all of him. He is a smart young man. He must know that I am doing so. His presence there gives him an advantage."
When Wuya comes closer to Corey, the llyranesi man smiles and reaches down to pet Wuya's feathers on the top of his little head. Happy little scritches to dote on a bird who doesn't get much doting on outside of small moments from his master. The smile falls away when he looks back at Karasu. "I caught it," he says. "Are you certain that he hasn't assumed a new identity, perhaps? Or is giving orders under a new identity? It's often that people assume disguises when they go to speak with those willing to kill for coin--as you know." He flushes a little for repeating something that Karasu's likely lived through many, many times over.
Then he looks down at Wuya. "Were you fond of Karasu's brother, Wuya?" he asks. There's got to be a reason the bird seems to be exploring all angles that suggest Raiden's not necessarily at fault here.
GAME: Corey rolls Sense Motive: (4)+18: 22 GAME: Karasu rolls 1d20+7: (19)+7: 26
"It is possible." Karasu says, not minding Cor'ethil's words. Though they clearly amuse him.
The pettings earn a purr of contentment from Wuya, but the unexpected query has the raven tilting his head a little. Into the fingers of course. "Karasu has not told me much about him." The raven replies in a voice very similar to Karasu's.
Karasu himself shrugs. "I met Wuya after I left my homeland, so he has never met Raiden in person."
Corey looks at Wuya, studying the bird's reaction. Raven behavior and body language are, in some ways, similar to mortals. A tilt of the head can be confusion--and also looking at an angle to try and discern more about the target that is confusing. As a Warden in Gilead's service, he knows that animals are not unintelligent nor devoid of emotion. Especially ravens. He's lived around too many to ever consider them dumb.
"Odd question," he says, looking between Karasu and Wuya for a second. "I've never thought to ask until now... Do the two of you... share emotions? Is that a thing the magic does?" He knows a little about Karasu's magic.
Karasu blinks and looks at Wuya. "Somewhat. We share a small... muted exchange of emotions. I imagine that he receives very little from me." Given that Karasu is not terribly emotive... that seems likely. "I know that your question made him feel uncomfortable. Do you worry that speaking ill of my brother would make me unhappy Wuya?"
Wuya shifts his tiny claws a bit and shifts his wings in a sort of shrug. "I know you care-" The raven is silent for a moment. "About him." The odd hesitation is odd.
Here, Corey smiles a little at Karasu. "Family members love each other," Corey says softly. "Or... They usually do. The affection you feel for your brother is pretty normal between siblings and parents. It sounded like he was the only one you ever loved like that... And you still do."
He holds out his hand to Karasu for the other man to take. He knows that Karasu might not take the comforting gesture, but it's important to Corey that he offers it anyway. "You're probably feeling some way about the fact he appears to want to kill you," he says. "That's normal, too. I mean... You love him. Nobody really wants to be killed by who they love."
The offer is taken, Karasu's hand wrapping around Cor'ethil's. "You always speak such soft words my kokoro, but yours is the only love I have ever known. Wuya is right. I care for my brother, but I do not know him. The only thing I know with certainty is that he will be the one that ends my life."
Here he looks at Wuya. "As was foretold."
The raven's dark eyes meet Karasu's for a long moment, but the black feathered bird looks away first.
"As was..." Corey's eyes widen, and then he looks at Wuya, following that meaningful look between his beloved and his beloved's familiar. "Did you bring this prophecy to Karasu? How will it happen?"
There he goes, that ever-protective Warden. His eyes flicker back to Karasu, and he squeezes Karasu's hand gently. There's fear written in those silver eyes of his, yes, but also... A fierceness, a ferocity, that steps in front of the fear. It's not hard to imagine he's already strategizing to protect his King--his Karasu--on the chessboard of prophecies and estranged brothers. "I'm not letting it happen," he says.
Karasu looks at Cor'ethil then firmly. "It is the reason I became a witch Cor'ethil. Wuya brought a witch to me, a woman who told me that my brother would see me to my death... If I took Wuya as a familiar and learned the arts of her magic. Such a diligent servant of Vardama he is." Karasu smiles a bit, that small smile of his, at his familiar. "I think he has had some thought of saving my soul or something, but my goal has never changed. I will die and pay the price of my actions. My brother will avenge his family and die without knowing the truth."
Those dark eyes return to Cor'ethil. The man he calls his heart. "So you must let it happen."
Corey listens, but... The silver eyes indicate he can't, and won't, accept that. Denial, the first stage of grief--
"No," he says. "I won't... I can't just let him... kill you. Yes, you're responsible for their deaths, but to allow him to live in the dark, and to..."
Briefly, his eyes find the floor, before they find Karasu's dark eyes again. Corey shakes his head again. "I don't want you to leave me so soon," he says. He'd known that this heartbreak would come one day. He'd known that Karasu would die. He'd always hoped, in the back of his mind, that it would be when Karasu had become old and grey, living a peaceful life with Corey caring for him until then.
Not so soon as that. "Not so soon," Corey murmurs. His eyes sting with the beginning of tears.
Karasu responds to emotions so much stronger than any he himself has ever known. He moves closer to Cor'ethil, offering comfort that only Cor'ethil has ever offered him. He traces his fingers over the other man's face. "Come my kokoro. You knew as I did that this day would come. I was always going to fade before you from this life. All I can do is give you every day until that one. Do not be jealous of Vardama's claim upon me Cor'ethil."
His voice is gentle, and Wuya flies away to offer them a bit of privacy. The food is gone. It's just them really. No responsibilities. Not yet. "It was always going to be too soon. I never expected to live to be old and gray. When you captured my heart and placed it within yourself it was with this sure knowledge between us that one day you would have to let me go." He lets his fingers trail over his beloved's lips. He is not prone to wishing. For more time to learn to love this man. He only has today. "But that day is not today. Today I am yours alone."
Corey closes his eyes as he lets Karasu touch him--his face, his lips--and he leans in closer into that touch, not unlike how Wuya leaned into his fingers with the scritches. The tears are welling up already. "I don't want to let you go," he says softly. "I don't ever want to let you go."
His arms find their home around Karasu, linking around him. He holds the other man, and the warmth, the comfort, of the other man's presence is a double-edged sword. It's comfort, but he knows... One day, all too soon, if Karasu surrenders to the prophecy, this comfort will be no more.
The thought of that is a hollow and dark place.
"Just... Tell me we'll try to fight?" he asks. It's a pleading, really. "That you won't just accept fate? What if there's another way? What if we can delay it?"
Again, Karasu could lie, but embraced in Cor'ethil's arms this is no more an option than it had ever been. His free hand wraps around the other man even as the one tracing those fine features continues its path. Memorizing what one day will be beyond his reach. "I can not fight nor delay this fate. If I see him..." There would surely be a fight then, but it would be in play only. He would die. "Please do not wish for something else Cor'ethil. You are far too beloved of the gods and they might well listen to you. This is what I have worked for my entire life. Let your love be my blessing to keep me company in the dark hours of my judgement. Do not keep me in these hands."
Perhaps it is some manner of love that makes the thought of going, of dying, for the first time seem a pain.
The silver eyes open, and Corey sheds tears anew--tears that fall rapidly down his face to meet the embrace of Karasu's hand. There's pain in those eyes, and Corey offers a little bitter laugh. "Do you think if I pleaded to Gilead, that you would be stayed your fate? I would bring you back to a temple and beg them to resurrect you--but the White Stag is not the arbiter of who lives and dies. He merely teaches how to be a mindful hunter--how to live among the wilds. But how am I to live if my heart's field grows barren with your passing?"
"I can not imagine such a thing Cor'ethil, as your heart growing barren." Karasu offers that tiny smile of his and then silences the other man with a kiss. He knows, believes, that his time is short, and he does not wish to waste his hours in sadness. He wants these days with Cor'ethil to be happy ones for the other man. So soft and sweet is the man that he will surely mourn the passing even of someone like Karasu.
But not yet.