A spicy mix

Kae is well, Kae's being Kae... Cept instead of crazy hijink with just artifice, she's well made an artificed corn-chip frier/maker thing. It is literally making corn into masa, mashing it, steaming it, then cutting it and frying it all in the same machine before dumping chips in a large bowl..... Near said bowl? Well there's a couple other large bowls with labels for various spicy sauces!!! Some mild some hot, and one labeled with a skull and crossbones, and a disclaimer that the maker is not responsible for the tongues of those who eat this tasty treat.

Now, Razen has seen quite a lot in his time in Alexandria. A maggot-dripping demon, a giant undead creature made of smaller undead creatures... flying skeletons. But a weird contraptions that turns corn into chips? That's a new one on him for sure. So although he's been whittling away his time drinking in the pub in a celebratory manner, he can't help but stare at the machine like the oddity that it is. His stomach grumbles and he looks at the chips and the sauce prospectively.

After a long, long observation of the creation and it's food-options Razen rises to his feet and wanders over, his mug of ale still in hand. "Excuse me... What is all of this?" It's asked politely at least, even if the words themselves are a touch abrupt.

And as if the bar wasn't big enough for those two things, in inches an Arvek. Inches because her back is pressed to the wall as if she's trying to keep away from the rest of the people - or perhaps just trying to make sure that her back can't be seen. She looks left, then right, and stays tense - pressed to the structure. That is, until she sees the contraption. "Oh no."

Serraphine frowns, seeing the thing spitting out crunchy food and then the soss so close by. "Oh no." There is a yelling from outside, shrieks of surprise and a little bit of terror over something that seems to be getting closer.

Kae smiles cheerfully and hands Razen a bowl of the crisps... And another bowl and a spoon "Try some sauce! Just spoon out into that little bowl there and dip the chip in, scoop some out and bite down!" There's like a dozen different sauces listed.... There's also a big wooden sign on the side of the chip making contraption, with a lever there too... It lists sauces? Seems like Kae's programmed some kind of artifice to be able to spit out tasty snack items... Maybe one of her least dangerous contraptions…

The half-ourch takes both spoon and bowl and looks over the lists curiously. In truth they make little sense to him, but he doesn't admit it out loud. Instead he starts to spoon a few different types of sauce at random into the bowl which he then mixes together and stuffs a chip into. Which is when he notices the yelling outside. Razen's ears perk and he looks toward the door with curiosity. Then to the woman talking to herself beside the door which she has been slowly inching away from. He looks back toward the door. "What's going out there do you think?" This question is posed conversationally to Kaelyn. He's not opening the door.

He doesn't need to open it as the handle rattles and then opens with a burst through of a large hyena head. The head whips one way, sniffing at Serraphine, a little chuckle - but that doesn't seem to be really what's going on here.

Ohhh no, not as that head whips back the other way towards chips and sauces. "Ack!" The Arvek is already charging toward a spot between Kaelyn and the Hyena head. Charging as if to tackle, and it's no surprise why - as not a moment later the hyena head is joined by hyena body that bursts through and starts charging at the food with abandon!

"MAYRA! NO!" Serraphine dives to grab the Hyena.

The Hyena skids to a stop at the word, staring as the flying Arvek careens not a foot in front of her. If Mayra hadn't listened, then Mayra would've been tackled.

BUT MAYRA IS A GOOD GIRL! As she leaps over Serraphine and continues her charge toward chips!

Kae ummmms... "Ooh well all the sauces have their own unique flavor, though I guess mixing some together is oookaaay, but you should try em individually too!" then Phi is mentioned, "Welll judging by the fact that 'phi is here... Probably her chuckle-pup is acting up." She says ... "And now giant chucklepup is going after the food." She says, deadpan.... Kae then resorts to quick thinking, she grabs the first sauce she can, scoops a huge amount of it onto a biiig chip and tosses it toward the oncoming chucklepup... "Nooo eating all the chips and dips!" She says, flailing her arms now... Of course the sauce she grabbed was the one with the skull and crossbones on it...

"You can't haz all the goodies giant rid-y pup!!!"

As the hyena comes head-first through the door Razen sits his chip and dip onto the table holding the other chips and dip. It's not hard to guess what's going to happen next, and though it's rude he's not really listening to Kaelyn talk about his choice of mixing the sauces (and really what else was he going to do). Serraphine manages to get for a moment between the... Razen stares at the weird dog-thing. He's seen it around before but he's never been this close to it before.

Subtly Razen steps behind Serraphine in just in case. And he's glad he does because the dog-thing jumps right over her and is charging straight for the table. Kaelyn makes her throw and Razen just stands there with his hands outstretched directly in front of the table so that Serraphine's (pet?) will have to go right through him to get to it. "Nice dog." He utters hopefully, and winces slightly as the salsa lands...

Serraphine sits up, turning her head to see Razen. She blinks, frowning, as she didn't remember diving toward him, but clearly she must've. Another grunt as she rolls around and then over, the full plate wasn't exactly the lightest in the world. And with a hoist she pulls herself up and starts patting down at the surcoat covering it - best to clean off the image of Serriel after all.

Wait, wasn't she up to something. Dog? OH! "She's a hyena, she's my friend. And- ACK! RIGHT! MAYRA!"

But it was too late, Mayra had already bounded off toward Kaelyn and the chips and sauce. That was, until Kaelyn brought her up short with the flying food.

FLYING FOOD! Mayra leaps up into the air and snatches the ship with the super spicy dip out of the air. Landing half on a table-CRUNCH-what used to be a table with her front paws. She lets out another chuckle and turns toward Kaelyn, slipping down onto her front paws so she was laying down on her elbows with her rump up in the air as it wiggled wildly. MAYRA WANTS TO PLAY!

A blink... then another blink... then another blink... Kae stares at the chuckle pup.. She casually looks around curiously, finds a table leg, that once belonged to a table and tosses it toward the door... "Fetch!"

Razen is left stunned in the wake of the - hyena - as well. His eyes fall to his bowl and it's chip laying spilled on the floor and he lets out a sigh. The half-ourch's stomach grumbles. "Perhaps she's hungry?" It seems likely with the way she wolfed the food up out of the air, but he also knows that the few times he's seen the animal it's been a force of destruction. He watches a table leg go flying and scrubs a hand through his hair. Wordlessly the large man takes a drink of his ale which he had entirely forgotten was in his hand. "This is not going to end well."

Mayra looks up, sees the table leg, and then looks back down at Kaelyn. She gives her a stare that Kaelyn has probably seen from people. A look that says Really? You think I was going to fall for that? I mean, sure, she's not as smart as the standard human but for a hyena she's a freaking genius.

And it shows, as Mayra starts bounces up onto her back legs, then comes crashing down back onto her fore-legs in the classic 'play' position of puppers everywhere.

"She's /always/ hungry." Serraphine gives a thin-lipped expression that's almost a neutral expression. It is, of course, almost undoubtedly a smile from Serraphine the constant scowler. She stares at her pupper and begins to trudge in her direction.

"She is /always/ starving." Serraphine gives that look back toward Razen, a more solemn one this time, "But at least she doesn't like Ale."

Razen looks at the hyena and can't help but smile just a little. The animal clearly wants to play, and he'd be inclined to do so if she were asking him. Yet, if the animal is hungry.... The half ourch pats himself down with his free hand and then downs his drink to place it on a nearby and upright table. "I have some food if that would help. Something for your dog - I mean hyena to eat." He says hyena a bit oddly, the unfamiliar word catching him up a bit.

His offer is immediately outdone by Kaelyn, who not only feeds the hyena right way from what's left over, but starts handing out bowls and making more chips and sauce. Razen is admittedly impressed. Not only by the machine, but by the fact that Kaelyn is so unswayed by all this. Her contraption being knocked over, the so-called chuckle pup. Personally, he finds it all entirely out of the ordinary even if it is entertaining. "Seems like she has it in hand." He offers his hand to Serraphine. "I'm Razen by the way. Nice... hyena that you have there."

Mayra stares at Kaelyn and then as Kaelyn explains the game the intelligent pupper cocks her head to the side and adopts a quizzical look. Wat? she seems to be asking, I am just a pupper and cannot understand such complex ideas. She stares balefully soon after, but this is almost immediately outdone as a chip goes flying.

Mayra lets out another cackle that end in high-pitched sort of yell as she leaps into the air and snaps it up, crunching vigorously on the chip and starting to let out a veritable stream of drool as the hot sauce hits her tongue and erupts in fire. At least she's grown out of her finger-guns phase.

Serraphine blinks and stares at Mayra turns into a literal drool monster instead of a figurative one and starts backing away slowly. "She loves spicy, and loves to lick. I recommend not getting too close-" She turns to look at Razen, "-acid spit." A sage nod.

She reaches out to clasp his hand, grabbing his forearm instead and giving a shake of it before her left hand comes up in a ninety degree angle and she gives the proper greeting. A clear of her throat, her voice higher by an octave or two now with the L-shape of her arm. "Hail traveller!" Sigh, "Times are tough." This was the proper greeting for Alexandrians, right?

Kae blinks at Phi now... "Wooow imitating folks huh?" She says, blinking a few times, least the massive amounts salsa she dumped on the big bowl isn't super spicy.. This she nudges toward the chuckle pup, making sure to stay out of licking range... She then beams cheerfully and waggles a bowl of chips and stuff at Razen "eaaaat, it's freee!" She also holds another one out to Phi! "You tooooo! I gotta get input on my new invention!!!"

Razen grins, clasping wrists in a manner that suggests that this form of greeting isn't entirely unfamiliar to him and gives hers a shake too. "Well-met... " He trails off meaningfully with an arch of the eyebrow that's marked by a tattoo. "Are you-"

A bowl of chips and sauce is shoved at him and he quickly accepts the fresh treat and flashes Kaelyn a broad grin of thanks. Seemingly he forgets his question as he tucks into the chips with murmurs of appreciation. A few spare seconds are all he needs to make his way through the food he's been offered. "Ahhh! That is good!" He eyes the woman who made the food and offers her his hand also. "I do not think I caught your name either. I am Razen."

Serraphine squints at Kae, "I'm not imitating folk. It is the standard greeting of Alexandria as I have been told." She lets go as Razen does before frowning. There was something else she was supposed to do. "Oh." She turns back to Razen, "I'm Grand General of Demon Finding, Demonic Spotter Extraordinaire, Countess Serraphine the Demon Hunting Expert of the Blar Region on detachment to Alexandria by way of Vandalheim with the highest esteem of Serrielites." She nods her head and takes the bowl of chips.

Mayra sets in on the bowl of chips that are also part drool, that is, unless someone gets too close. Then they get a slurping lick.

A slurping lick with much drool that is filled with that heat from the spicest of spicy.

Crunch-munch-munch-munch. Crunch-munch. CRUNCH CRUNCH! The chips will not live long.

"And that's Mayra, Royal Dog and Cookie Tester of Vandalheim."

Kae reaches out and pokes at Phi repeatedly... "Well you still haven't caught the one I think yer looking for? In Sandy and all?" She asks curiously "Oooh has you founded moar incriminating evidence?" She asks now, curious.. That and she finds it funny.... Kae then looks through her various salsas, picks a more spicy roasted salsa, fills her bowl and another bowl of chips, before she begins to happily nom herself....

Razen looks admittedly impressed at Serraphine's list of titles, and as though he is trying quite hard to remember them all properly. This is noted by the way his lips move slightly, echoing her actual words in an attempt to keep up. He nods once when her listing of honorifics is complete and offers her a broad grin. "That is a fine list of names! You must have done some great deeds to earn them all." He looks a touch wistful and smiles a little to himself at Kaelyn's poking of the woman. It's clear he expects retribution of some kind. "Are you looking for Sandy then Grand General of Demon Finding, Demonic Spotter Extraordinaire, Countess Seraphine the demon-hunting expert of the Blar region?"

Razen looks immensely proud of himself for having remembered it all.

Serraphine blinks at Razen as he rattles it back off at her, then tilts her head, "Huh." Her shoulders shrug, "I have done many things, but I bought the title in Vandalheim. They are very accommodating." She nods, sagely, before turning back to Kaelyn.

"I DO! I have a picture of her!" She furrows her brow and then pulls out a book from a pouch that does not look big enough to hold said book.

She flips open the pages, flicking through them. The edge of the book is rife with pages that are larger than the last, bits of note glued into pages smaller to keep the records all straight until finally - finally - she sets the book down with gusto on a page. "THERE! PROOF!"

Kae peers at the picture curiously "Sooo umm whyfore issit important what Sandy iiis?" She asks curiously.. "Honestly, I understand the rumors is she's a rainbow dragon! That's soooooo much better than a demon! Maybe she's a rainbow demon? That can't be too bad? I dunno!" She says, waggling her arms some....

Razen tilts inward to look at the picture and then scoffs. Laughter comes boiling up out of him like hot water boiling up out of a bowl. It's a good sort of laughter, the sort that invites others to join in with it. "Sandy is not a demon!" He laughs some more, enough that his eyes are squinting. After a long moment he coughs and with laughter just on the edge of his words continues. "Nor does that look anything like her! You are clearly looking for someone else. She is a good friend of mine."

A flash of red is spotted on the stairs, and then wandering through the main room of the Pub. And then a wee Gobbo is tugging at Razen's arm. "Hai!", she says cheerfully. "Sandy is your friend now? So you've stopped calling her Sandy the Wide?" Choler leans against the Oruch and grins. "How is the flail working out?"

"Because she's a demon." Serraphine looks at Kaelyn and squints, "She just hides her demon form very well." She crosses her arms and her lips form a deeper frown yet as her arms cross over her chest now.

Crunch-munch-munch. CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH!

Bounce, Mayra is bounding in toward Kaelyn and then trying to lick her viciously with the (surely it's now acidic) saliva.

Serraphine turns and looks at Razen now, throwing her hands up. "Well of course you'd think that of your friend, because she's your friend. They're the ones you should watch the closest."

Kae flails at the incoming chucklepup, and well suddenly Kae's encased head to toe in mythril-clad super sleek artificer armor. Where a lot of artificers go with the whole bulky look, Kae's evidently going with a more sleek, tight type fit... "eeeeeeeeeee! Capsaicin lickits!" She calls out as she flails.

"She is my friend and she..." Razen trails off because suddenly there's a goblin there, tugging on his arm in a way that makes him blink down at her. "Oh, it is you again. Of course she is my friend. She did not curse my weapon after all!" He grins happily and lays a hand on the heavy flail at his side. It's a remarkable piece of workmanship with the face of someone screaming on the ball. Touching it makes him glance at it and he pats it for good measure. "No need to watch her, she is a good woman even if she is a shaman."

The Gobbo tugs at Razen's hand and places it upon her head. "You're welcome.", she says. "For telling you it wasn't cursed in the first place. So you've talked to her, then?" She eyes the Elf being licked to death by the... doggo? Choler looks up at Razen. "What kind of dog is that?"

"It's a Hyena." Serraphine grabs more chips and sauce, dipping one into the other before munching away. She seems idly distracted by something when there's suddenly the sound of Kaelyn flailing for her life - warding off the acidic saliva.

"Ma-a-a-ayra." Serraphine frowns at her chuckle pup.

Mayra turns away from Kaelyn and hangs her head for the moment. Shame. So much shame. Ignore that this has put my snoot level with the soss on the table. I am not licking it all up while I hang my head in shame.

P.S. She really is licking up all the super spicy sauce

A blink, and another, and Kae peeers at Serra "SHe's eating the volcanic sauce again...." Kae then suddenly comes up with an idea, she tries to rub Mayra around the ears, then points at Serra "Go get yer mummy! Give her a looot of lickins!" She says. Yes mischief must be had!!!

Razen grunts at Choler, distracted by the hyena attacking Kaelyn. The half-ourch shakes his head - he can again imagine what will happen next with Kaelyn directs the animal's attention back toward Serraphine. Subtly he shifts to the side; way from Choler. Then slowly and calmly starts to walk out the door. Politely he waves a hand back in the direction of the group, but it's a slow careful wave so as to not catch the attention of the hyena. "Good-day to you all. I've got to go see someone about testing how strong my weapon is now that it is magic!"

The Gobbo watches as Razen slowly shuffles his way out the door, her head canted to one side, her expression one of curiosity. "Hey! Wait for me."

-End